Is Your Husband Having an Affair? Five Telltale Signs

Are you feeling uneasy about your marriage, and you cannot quite pinpoint the reason? Do you suspect your husband is misbehaving in a Don Draper kind of way?

If you are worried your husband is having an affair, listen to your intuition. Do not ignore it, as denial is never a smart choice. Nor is jumping to conclusions.

Before you completely fall apart, or start hurling accusations, become a Charlie's Angel. As calmly as you can, try to investigate a bit.

Here are five telltale signs he may be cheating. Try to look for a pattern of behaviors, and please use some common sense.

1) Unreachable via mobile phone on regular basis.

Technology can make phantoms of the best of us. However, you should be able to reach your husband, and actually get a human voice.

If you suspect your husband may be cheating, then start phoning him more. If he is only sending texts in response to your messages, this is not a good sign. If the phone is going straight to voice mail, it's not a good sign.

Now, before you start throwing his underwear on the lawn, is this a new behavior? Next, try a few tests. Leave him an urgent message in which you ask him to phone you back. See if he does. And, if so, is he in a hurry?

The reality is that everyone is busy. Many men are working around the clock. But, married men can make time to take a minute-long call with their wives, if they are tied up for legitimate reasons, and not tied up to their lover's bedpost.

2) Exceptionally clean.

Cleanliness is next to godliness. It's true. But, sometimes men rush to the shower to wash off the scent of another woman.

Again, use common sense but look for patterns. If your husband makes a mad dash to the shower when he gets home from outings, this could be a bad sign. Of course, if he is coming home from the gym, then it's understandable. But, it could be his effort to clean up evidence of a tryst.

3) Secrecy with computer and Blackberry.

James Bond is sexy. But, your husband is not a secret agent, and he should not act like one when he is around his computer or Blackberry.

If your husband is spending countless hours at his computer on the weekends, do the equivalent of a drive-by. Quietly walk in on him. Bring him cookies. See if he quickly changes his computer screen. Take note.

Also, if your husband is constantly on his Blackberry, it could be work related. But it could be sweet nothings to someone else, especially if he appears to be engaging in an ongoing dialogue. On occasion, ask him to show you what he is working on, and just see how he responds.

4) Frequently defensive and agitated.

Human nature never really changes, does it? When you have something to hide, don't you get a bit jumpy?

Well, if your husband is hiding a second life with another woman, then he is bound to show some increased defensiveness and edginess, especially when you quiz him on his day or his whereabouts. Pay close attention to what makes him nervous. It could be very telling.

5) Frequent headaches.

Decades ago, it was the woman who always had the headache. But, if your man is not a one-horse show, then he may be the one with the headaches both in and out of the bedroom.

Men tend to like to keep things simple. They do not like to be overly duplicitous. Most prefer real intimacy with only one woman at a time. If you are not on the receiving end, then there may be a problem.