IS LIFE REALLY ALL ABOUT "LOOKING OUT for NUMBER ONE"?

Logic would say that as a full-fledged human being, every person of every age and circumstance counts. However, there are plenty of individuals who, while fully acknowledging this fact about oneself, also extends it to others. Unfortunately, in many instances, "others" do not see this as a positive thing at all; some even consider it to be a flaw.

Many years ago I happened to notice a paperback book called "Looking Out for #1." Curious, I bought the book, considered the author's viewpoints to be rather negative, and passed the book on to a few other people who had the same opinion after reading it. None of us thought being selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed were positive qualities to cultivate. In addition to "Looking Out for #1," the author, Robert J. Ringer, also produced such gems as "Getting What You Want" and "Winning Through Intimidation." From his material, it is a safe bet to figure he fully believes the title of his blog, "A Voice of Sanity," is appropriate.

Around the same time I found "Looking Out for #1," I also found a similar book by a different author. While this other author seemed to have a few valid points, looking back I recall a segment in the book which illustrated the same kind of viewpoint expressed by Ringer. The scenario described was of a person who needed one onion, and went to the store to find onions were only sold in large bags. The author prodded his readers to decide what they would do if they were in this situation-- would you go home empty-handed and do without the dish you wanted to make? would you buy an entire bag of onions when you only needed one? or-- by his assessment, the "correct" course of action-- would you break the bag open and only take the one onion you needed? While the latter option would significantly inconvenience the store personnel-- the loss of profits from no longer being able to sell an intact bag, amongst others-- readers were prodded to overlook the inconvenience to "others," and focus only on getting what they themselves wished to have.

During the last few years, I have resided in a negative environment where some of my lifelong traits have been pointed out as flaws. One is basic caring and compassion for fellow human beings; the other is a basic characteristic of integrity known as keeping one's word. Yes, these traits are considered to be flaws-- because they are not about putting "Number One" as the first, foremost, and only regard. First, caring about one's fellow human beings, helping whenever possible, treating people fairly, and other similar means of interaction, results in "getting kicked in the teeth" and being taken advantage of. This trait results in being deemed a patsy, a target, and a wuss. Second, while sometimes it is one-hundred-percent impossible for a person to keep his or her word, whenever one has the ability whatsoever to do so it is not only positive, it is essential. This also means keeping one's word even if it is inconvenient to you, or requires some kind of sacrifice to yourself. However, this trait results in being tagged a fool. After all, like the second author opined, one must never inconvenience oneself, and if there are consequences-- minor or major-- to someone else because of selfcenteredness, it's basically just a matter of "tough to you."

Occasionally, I actually wonder if I have outlived my usefulness in this world. After all, when all a person is going on is decent treatment toward other people and integrity, each time to be sneered at and, as a common phrase in this locale, kicked to the curb, how often can this occur before one simply gives up? Fortunately, this thought is usually brushed away by noticing there are other good people in this world. Not only are these traits not flaws, those of us who live by them are not unique. Real life is not about "Looking Out for #1" at the expense of others; and it is not about taking the onion you want and leaving someone else to clean up the broken mess one leaves behind.