Is Love a Joke? or What? Part I

Let me back up to November 11, 2003 the day that changed my life. I was 24 years old at the time and full of life. I met him in the studio and I tell you the very moment our eyes met I was hooked! We laughed, we talked, we realized that we had so much in common. Aside from the fact that we were both crazy into music, we shared the exact same believs about nearly everything. He was 3 years my junior and the thought of dating a younger mand made me nervous, but there was something so different about him. He didn't act like any 21 year old man I'd ever met. And when he spoke, his words were butter, baby! He quickly impressed me and I knew that I would never be the same.

For the next few months we made music together ( in more ways than one). We began to plan our future together. We decided we wanted to get marrid in July 2005. We decided that we would move to Virginia Beach following the completion of his production coures in Florida. We decided how many children we wanted, named them, and started making preparations for their futures. We requested our credit reports to eliminate all major debt before taking the next step. Then he was offered an opportunity to travel with a band as their keyboardist and musical director/ arranger. As stated before, we were both crazy into music. I wanted so badly to see him make it, but I didn't want him to leave either. We talked about it. We prayed about it. Then again we decided that he should go. This could be an awesome opportunity for the both of us, right?

He joined the band at the end of September 2004 and he never came back. The man that I knew and loved never came back. So where did he go? What did he do? After being on the road for less than 60 days he decided that " maybe it's best that we chill, you know what I'm saying?" I asked if there was someone else and to my suprise he admitted that he had been conversing with a particular woman. He explained the nature of their relationship as harmless but that his conversation with her started him to thinking about his future and that he no longer wanted to get married. While I was hurt, I did not make a fuss about it. But 2 days later we were together again nonetheless, we were not engaged anymore.

There is so much more to tell. This is the first time that I have ever opened up about my past pains and it will take while. But please give me time and let me hear from you. Peace