Is Lying Always Bad?

Do you pride yourself on being an honest person or do you tell a lot of lies? Think of it for a minute. When someone asks how you are, do you say "fine" even when you're down; when a friend of yours has the haircut from hell do you reassure her "it looks cool"; and if the subject of dieting comes up do you lie about your weight? Research shows that the average person tells one or two lies daily. In some situations the right lie can help us achieve a higher goal, make someone feel good or avert unnecessary pain.

Women often lie about their age, weight and aspects of their looks while men exaggerate how much they earn, what their job entails and also tell big whoppers about wanting to settle down, get married and have children. That doesn't mean you should never believe another word a man says, but it doesn't hurt to take those sweet nothings with a a grain of salt.

White Lies Promote Peace
White lies are a necessary part of everyday life and that's the truth! Studies show that the majority of lies we tell are for the benefit of other people. What kind of lies falls into this category? Stuff like telling your neighbour her cheese cake was great when in fact it was not good at all.

White lies can be useful to get you out of a fix, but they are also great for protecting the feelings of others. Though it's rarely a good idea to force a friend to have a reality check, you can put a spin on answers to questions so they are not a full lie. For example, if your friend asks you, "Does this dress look okay on me?" and you think it's totally a disaster, a good response is to tell a white lie which is qualified by something true. So you might say, "That dress looks fine, but I think your black dress suits your figure best". In sparing someone's feelings it's important we don't try to deny them information they've a right to know. Wouldn't you expect the same from your friend?

Lying In Love
About a third of of all conversations between dating couples are peppered with lies. Almost 85 percent of couples tell lies about their previous relationships. Surprisinglly though, when we settle down with someone we often lie less - about 10 percent of conversations concerning minor details of everyday life. But when it comes to the big whoppers that shake up lives they happen most in our love life, the big lies of betrayal usually occur in our most intimate relationships. In short we save our biggest lies for the people we're closest to. The seriousness of a lie depends on a number of factors : your intention in telling it, how far it strays from the truth and the damage it may cause.

When it comes to your love life, avoid lying about :

Your Past : As much as possible, aim to tell the truth about your personal history, past failures or weaknesses and previous boyfriends.

Your Emotions : Be open about your responses - both good and bad - to things your partner does and be honest about your needs in the relationship.

Daily Life : Don't say you caught up with your sister when in fact you went for a drink with a friend he doesn't like. Be open about what's going on in your life - it's the best way to foster trust.

The Future : Be open about your plans and goals for the future and how your partner fits into them. Then he or she will have no reason to doubt your love.

When Lying Backfires
There are some situations in which a lie is just not good practice. Never lie about whether you love someone, about your past, about people you know or places you have travelled to - telling these kind of high-voltage lies is playing with fire and you could easily get caught out. If you're busted after telling a lie, the person at the receiving end is likely to be sceptical about anything you say in the future. The lie causes an inequality in the relationship - making the other person feel inferior because you don't think they are worthy enough of the truth.

Have you ever told a lie and found yourself telling more lies to cover up the first one? That's the trouble with deception - often we tell lies to help simplify our lives, but they end up causing complications. Sometimes it's simpler to tell the truth, even if it's not what the other person wants to hear...