Is Maxim Sorry for Naming Sarah Jessica Parker the 'Unsexiest Woman in the World'?

In a move that many people just can't understand, Maxim magazine has created a stir by naming Sarah Jessica Parker as the unsexiest woman alive.

Oh no, they didn't! Oh yes, they did.

Did they not know that Sarah Jessica Parker is the golden goddess of women, hailed by Oprah and shoe addicts alike? What's wrong with them anyway? As if you needed an answer, visit their website and all questions will be answered. Maxim is to men as Sex In the City is to women. Maxim is masculinity taken to absurd levels, while Sex In the City is femininity taken to equally absurd levels.

Men do not want their poster woman of sex to be a woman that women like. They don't want their poster woman to even share a pedestal with a likable woman. Why? Because likable women are the type of girls you take home to mom. They're the type you have to be nice to or you feel like a jerk. They're the type of women you can't have a one night stand without at least taking out to breakfast the next morning. They are the type of women you commit to when you are ready to settle down. Men who buy Maxim are ones who are A) Already settled and want to live vicariously through their single counterparts or B) Single and living it up. They don't want to read about "nice" girls their mothers would like. In short, they want a woman who has all the qualities of a sex machine with none of the guilt. The same as women crave men with bulging biceps, six-pack abs, who enjoy shopping, are 100% straight, love chick flicks, and who always know everything about all the latest celebrity trends, fashion, and gossip.

Men don't want the fragile beauties for their pin-up girls. They want a girl who looks like a rough and tumble good time in the sack just like women want chocolate without the fat, calories, and sugar. They want the type of woman that absolutely hates other women because these women are so desperate they will throw themselves down at the feet of a man and act like a total doormat. They want the women who are devastatingly beautiful but inside, really insecure about themselves. Could you see Sarah Jessica Parker's character being a doormat on 'Sex In the City'? And if she has been one in the past, you can believe she's learned her lesson with a healthy dose of girl power to follow...and a spankin' new pair of Jimmy Choos.

Ask women which group of women they would want to go have lunch with. Group A includes: Lindsey Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Fergie, and Angelina Jolie. Group B includes: Sarah Jessica Parker, Nicole Kidman, Oprah, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Mandy Moore. Women would probably choose the latter. Why? Because they seem like nice girls. Men would probably choose the first group for the exact opposite reason. Those in the first group all made Maxim's 'Sexiest' list.

Ladies, calm down. Maxim is male chauvinists being male chauvinists...and "gentlemen" calm down as well...The ladies are just upset that Maxim put a blemish on their icon of overdone, nauseating girl power. The whole scandal isn't much of a scandal at all. It's just two extremes of opposition clashing over pure meanness. Maybe the men of the world feel justified after their girlfriends have made them sit and watch horrid girl-dramas like 'Grey's Anatomy' and 'Sex In the City' where the slightly unattractive woman always gets her man and always works fabulous jobs and has the finer things in life.

It really isn't a matter of Parker's beauty at all. What is the matter is that she's in an overly feminine show that encourages women to treat men like brainless pieces of meat. Sandra Oh is also in Maxim's Top 5 'Unsexiest Women In the World'. Why? Because she's in 'Grey's Anatomy' and men are sick of having to watch it already. Madonna? Can't anyone see why Madonna is in the countdown? Madonna is in the countdown because she's played the freaky dominatrix a little too far past the age limit and men are now getting freaked out by it. Britney? Well, Britney would go without saying after her actions the past year. Any man who has ever gone through a custody battle is making Kevin Federline their hero...Hello? Kevin Federline! As for Amy Winehouse, she's in the same crazy boat with Britney. Apparently most men want their unattainable dream women to be sexbots who aren't "nice" girls that also aren't totally crazy. Crazy is overruled by default.

Should Sarah Jessica Parker, Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse, Sandra Oh, and Madonna be on the list of the Unsexiest Women in the World? Maybe not if we're just basing things on appearances. Sarah Jessica Parker is not conventionally attractive. She just seems like such a kind, thoughtful person and so women adore her and exaggerate her outer beauty. What is dazzling is Sarah Jessica Parker's inner beauty so it is a shame to see someone like her land on this list.

However, she is hardly the unsexiest woman in the world. Take to heart that the same men who ranked her as unsexiest also ranked Lindsey Lohan as the sexiest woman in the world.

So ladies? You can cry at the unjustness of labeling Sarah Jessica Parker as unsexy...or you could get revenge. Why not rank who you really think should be the unsexiest women in the world starting with Lindsey Lohan, perhaps? The Boston Globe has already ranked their opinions on the unsexiest men in the world pretty convincingly. Can you disagree with Donald Trump, Flavor Flav, Don Imus, Sanjaya Malakar, or Perez Hilton? I sure can't. I hardly think Maxim can call this revenge as I'm sure no man would resist going home with Sarah Jessica Parker after a long night of drinking. However, I can in no way imagine any woman ever going home with Flavor Flav after a long night of equal indulgence. Something about the gross-out factor just isn't as prevalent on Maxim's list of un-sexy women.

Sarah Jessica Parker, however, was rattled by the poll but tried to keep her wits around her, stating, ""I believe in the old 'sticks and stones' philosophy, so frankly their words don't come close to hurting" and concluding, "I don't think I am [sexy] either."

What did Maxim say in reply? "Not only astute, Parker's reaction smashes the stereotype of the defensive, self-absorbed A-list egotist, while upholding the stereotype of the girl forced to have a sense of humor because she's yucky. We commend Sarah Jessica for her resilience-it's a quality that would be downright sexy on a hot woman!"

Does that not show the level of maturity the editors of this mind-wasting magazine seem to possess?

Maxim could have done much better than naming Sarah Jessica Parker as the unsexiest woman alive. Men and women alike should be able to join together to demand a recount. Rosie O'Donnell, hands down, deserves this "honor".