Is a Normal Life Possible After Domestic Violence?

After you escape your abuser, it may seem like you are not any better off. Not only do you feel humiliated for having been abused for so long, but you're terrified of having the same experience happen again. You also become very scared of making any kind of decision, especially if you chose to live with your past abuser. That was a big mistake - does that mean you'll make another equally horrific choice? You fear that you will never be able to make good choices.

But the ability to make good choices does eventually come, and it won't entirely feel normal, because you are much happier and more confident than you were before.

My Personal Story

This writer was stuck in an abusive relationship for many years. I had fallen in love with a homeless man in England and ran away with him. Little did I know that he was an alcoholic and dangerously violent. Because I was not an English citizen, I could not get a job and had to rely on my abuser for monetary support. I kept thinking that things would work out just because I loved him so much.

And then he beat up my four month old puppy for peeing on the floor. I suddenly realized that he was not only going to kill my beloved puppy, but me, too. I threw him off of the puppy, picked her up, ran out and never looked back. I managed to live on my own from begging and living off of other people's trash, but it couldn't last. My mother in America offered both my dog and me a home and we left England.

The Tower

Change is one of the scariest things that can happen to you because you are so afraid that things are going to get worse. Because you have been a victim of domestic violence, you have a good reason to be frightened of just about anything, no matter how innocent it looks. In the Tarot, change is represented by a crumbling tower. It shows the destructive side of change. But after an old tower falls, a new one can be built in it's place.

Let yourself freak out. Get it all out of your system. Get some counseling or talk to your doctor in order to get a hold of any antidepressants or other medication that can help you eat and sleep regularly. You also need to get a check up to get any physical damage attended to. When your health gets better, you don't feel as panicked.

When you do eventually make a mistake, you'll discover that it's not so bad. The sky will not tumble down. You may have made a mistake in choosing your partner, but you were able to fix that mistake and get a new life. There are always chances to change for the better.