Is Your Obsession with Body Image Alienating Friends and Associates?

It is no secret that many Americans - particularly women - struggle with body image issues. It's also no wonder, given that we are inundated daily with media images of mythical creatures who bear some resemblence to actual human beings but appear to have few, if any physical flaws. With so much deception and hype over the superficial, it is easy to become obsessed with body image and begin to frequently verbalize one's frustrations. Unfortunately, this can happen to the detriment of meaningful friendships and important associations.

Not many people enjoy hearing someone complain constantly about their appearance and how they wish it were different - except in those cases where misery loves company. And after a while, these complaints can alienate perfectly wonderful people. So how does one spot the signs that they are pushing people away? If you are worried that you could be overdoing it and are on the verge of losing some valuable relationships, here are a few signs that you might be right:

The friends and/or coworkers that you once frequently dined with now all have "other plans" when it's time for lunch or dinner.

This is a possible sign that they have grown weary of dining with you. This may especially be the case if all you do is talk fat calories before, during and after meals. You may not be fully aware of just how much you talk about this, but it can easily happen. People who are obsessed with their weight can ruin a perfectly good dinner date by complaining about how fattening the appetizers are, how they absolutely must pass on the bread and how they can hardly consume more than a leaf of lettuce without gaining 5 pounds. While it's okay to be conscientious about what one eats, constantly discussing this at every opportunity can be a real turn-off for people who just want to relax, relate and unwind.

People take offense when you complain about an aspect of your appearance that you are unhappy with.

Oftentimes when one complains about the weight or proportion of their body, they neglect to realize that there may be a friend or acquaintance present that fits a similar physical profile. For example, if a 5'6, 160 pound woman complains that she has turned into "a blimp" to several coworkers at her job, there is a great likelihood that at least one of those coworkers is close to her same height and weight or perhaps even weighs significantly more. They may not share her feeling of being overweight, but could still feel slighted by her remark.

Your friends and acquaintances repeatedly tell you that you "have nothing to complain about" as far as your appearance goes.

This can be quite validating and tempt you to complain more just for reassurance. The truth however is that over time, people will get tired of trying to convince you that you are fine exactly as you are. If someone tells you that they think you have nothing to complain about, then consider it a polite warning that they really don't care to hear you go on and on about your appearance. If you disagree with them, you can silently make plans to do something that will help you look and more importantly feel better, but by all means give the verbal self-bashing a rest.

You silence or clear out the room when your obsession with your body image dominates the conversation.

If the morale at your surprise birthday party seems to suddenly drop after you complain that you can't eat a slice of cake because it's too fattening and you already weigh far too much, then more than likely you're the culprit behind the mood change! If you absolutely could not afford to eat one slice of cake, it might've been less damaging to simply thank everyone for their thoughtfulness and indicate that you were full and would save the slice for later. Most people, however, can get away with a little birthday indulgence. After all - your birthday only comes once a year.

People who once worked tirelessly to uplift you now agree with you or say nothing when you put yourself down.

You may think, "Finally, they're being honest with me," when the truth is that they have just grown weary from all of the negativity. It could also be that your focus on your outward appearance has diminished the inner beauty that drew them to you in the first place. Regardless, a sudden change from encouragement to ambivalence may be an indicator that you are on the verge of alienating someone whose friendship and support you truly value.

If you begin to notice one or more of the aforementioned signs, it is important to think about the messages you are sending to others and even more importantly, that you are sending to yourself. Body image obsessions do not lead to positive outcomes. The more you can learn to appreciate and love yourself exactly as you are, the greater the chances are that people will be drawn to you regardless of how you look. There is also a greater likelihood that an increase in self-confidence will lead to much more success as far as diet and exercise go than all of the obsessing in the world could have ever achieved.