Is it OK to Have a Raffle at a Baby Shower?

A lot has been said in recent years about the greediness of the guest of honor at baby showers. Years ago, when society was genteel, and unpleasant sentiments were kept to hushed whispers during intimate conversation, greediness was not apparent at showers. Now, it seems to run rampant.

To be clear, it's true that a baby shower is thrown with the express purpose of guests bringing gifts. It's a long-standing tradition rooted in practicality: Expectant mothers need a lot of stuff for the new baby, and the expectant mother's friends want to give her stuff for the baby.

So... as friends and relatives we truly want to help. Sure, we want to lend our emotional support- being there in spirit and all that- but we'll throw in some manufactured goods, too. For the baby.

But... mothers-to-be, and those throwing showers for them, need to be walk a fine line. Remember that while guests are happy to bring a gift, they are not pleased when the mother-to-be shows signs of greediness.

One of the gray areas in greediness is when expectant mothers register for single items of merchandise that retail for hundreds of dollars. This behavior can be overlooked because: The mother needs it, the baby needs it, but they can't afford it. Several friends or relatives can, and most likely will, chip in to buy it. Isn't that the spirit of a baby shower?

Another gray area of greediness is an extensive guest list. Inviting people that the mother-to-be has only a passing relationship with is a sure sign that this is all about the presents. Of course, if some of the guests are the grandma-to-be friends and co-workers, that's fine. If the mother-to-be is trying to establish relationships with other mothers of young children, that's understandable, too. But if every woman on the 22nd floor is invited, that's just begging.

The real clincher on baby shower greediness is throwing a raffle during the shower! In case you didn't realize, the gift is the financial contribution. It's offensive to hit up guests for further monetary support.

A raffle is also incredibly tacky. Are you throwing a baby shower or a gun... what's the word?... raffle?! A gun raffle has its place- as a fundraiser. A baby shower is not a fundraiser.

Again, you already got your money in the form of a gift. To ask for more is in poor taste. And another thing, your guests see through those five dollar "prizes" that you're selling two dollar tickets for. Really, if you need financial assistance that badly, be upfront about it and just pass a hat.