Is it Possible to Be Too Involved with One's Child?

Connection and involvement with our children is what we as parents desire the most. There's good reason for this. Children whose parents are more involved with their lives are usually more likely to have confidence, assuredness, and higher levels of self esteem. Children with involved parents often excel in extracurricular activities, hobbies, sports, and studies.

As a good parent, we should also know when to draw the line, when it comes to involvement with our child. Am I saying there is such a thing as too much involvement for us parents? The short answer is yes. It's very important that we recognize if we are becoming too involved with our child.

There is a difference between involvement with our children and intrusion into their lives. Sometimes it's easy to forget children have some of the same needs, which we as adults have. For example, children need their space and privacy too. By not providing them privacy and space, we are doing them a disservice, by not allowing them to develop their own skills, knowledge, abilities, and talents.

It's natural for us as parents, to be eager and want to help our children succeed. It is this overzealousness that can tempt us to step in and start doing things for them. We do this because we think they are doing it incorrectly or inadequately. Remember, we had to learn things on our own, and it's just as important to allow them to learn on their own. Of course, there's nothing wrong with helpful guidance on our part, so long as we don't jump in and completely do it for them.

It's imperative that we be there for them, for both encouragement and support. We can give them praise for when they do a good job. Also, allow them to make some mistakes. Enable them to figure out a plan, on their own, to do things. Life teaches us that there's usually always more than one way of getting something done. Just because your child isn't doing it the way you would do it, doesn't mean it's not the right way. In fact, there are times when our child can be our teacher. They may present us with a way of doing something we never even thought of before.

Probably one of the finest lines we have to walk, as parents, is involvement in our child's social life. On one hand, it's important that we be there for them and we know what's going on, but on the other, we can't be overbearing and nosy. The most important thing we can do is let our child know they are always welcome to come discuss anything with us. They can do so without judgment or fear of punishment for doing so. That way, if they are having troubles, they can readily come to us, and share their feelings and problems with us. We can help them work out a solution, or just be there to listen.

If your child says they don't want to talk about it, give them some time. Respect their space, let them work things out. Make sure that when they're ready, you'll be there to talk to them about it. This is an important part of growing up, and allowing a child to figure his own way through things is an essential part of that process.