Is it Really so Bad to Spoil Your Child; What is Wrong with Spoiled Children?

I was brought up to believe that spoiled children are almost in the same category as neglected children. On parenting forums, experts seem to be always warning about how dangerous it is to spoil your child. Growing up, my parents frequently dismissed many of my requests for things on the basis that they didn't want to spoil me; this meant that even though my parents had a bit more money than many of my friend's parents I still seemed to always have a lot less than they did. I remember when I first became interested in girls feeling ashamed because I had no fashionable clothes. Compared to most people in the world this is just too trivial to mention, but it was a big deal to me at the time. Despite my parent's views on spoiled children I still grew up to be a selfish addict.

I want the best for my own son, and I don't want to deny him things on the basis of some parenting theory. Parenting paradigms seem to be constantly changing; despite this idea about spoiled children stubbornly holding on for the last few decades. I don't want to invest too much in some other person's idea about how to bring up kids only to later find out that they were completely wrong. Maybe if they provided some proof about what great parents they are and how successful their kids turn out. If you spoil your child or don't spoil your child there is still no guarantee that you they are going to grow up well.

I don't intend to give my son everything he wants, but I don't want to deny him things for no real reason. Childhood only lasts a short time so I think that it is best to make the most out of it. I don't see why it can't be possible to learn the lessons you need to learn in life and still have a good time growing up. I suppose the ideal is to get a happy balance; the middle way as they say in Buddhism. While we are on the subject of the Buddha; he was a spoiled child and he turned out alright.

I feel that indulging children now and again isn't such a bad thing. They do have to learn that they can't have everything, but this doesn't that they can't make the most of their childhood.