Is Your Relationship Holding You Back?

Relationships are a great way to connect with someone else and discover what you want with your future. However, not all relationships are meant to last and can actually be holding you back from important things, such as your career, hobbies, or personal happiness. Although breaking up with your long-term partner may be difficult, it is sometimes necessary to move on with your life. Understanding the warning signs of your partner holding you back can help you determine if you should continue the relationship.

Are you not advancing your career?

When we are young, we have dreams of successful careers that affect a wide variety of people. Ideally, our spouse or partner is like a cheerleader that helps motivate you to succeed in whatever your field of interest is. However, this does not always happen. Relationships that consist of constant fighting, bickering and guilt tripping can hold your career back. Worrying about constant relationship troubles can take your mind of your career and hold you back from promotions, or a better job.

You are depressed with your partner

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, of the U.S. population over the age of 18 or older, 9.5 percent suffer from a mental disorder, which includes depression. Depression in a relationship can stem from cheating, guilt tripping, or feeling unhappy with your partner. Relationship counseling and the visit to a psychologist can help you if you are feeling depressed. However, if your depression or severe unhappiness stems from your relationship, it may be best to breakup. Although breaking up conjures thoughts of even more unhappiness, it can help you move on with your life. From my experience, I found that ending a long-term relationship actually improved my happiness and other aspects of my life, even though the initial breakup was very hard.

You rarely see anyone else outside the relationship

I am not talking about seeing someone else in the sense of cheating, or the pursuit of a new relationship, but rather friends. The first group that is neglected in a relationship is often your friends that you had before the relationship. As the relationship evolves, we lose the time we spent with our friends in place of spending time with our partner. Friendships should help your relationship, and as long as the friends do not harm your relationship, it is perfectly acceptable to have friends in a relationship. If your partner does not agree, it may be best to end the relationship. Remember, your friends were there for you before the relationship, and will be there for you when it ends.

Do you have hobbies?

Hobbies are great for pursuing your passion and giving you some alone time from anything that causes stress in your life. Hobbies given up because of a relationship can be detrimental to your overall happiness. If your relationship causes you to forgo activities that once made you happy, it may be best to breakup. Through my own experience, I found that hobbies are the first thing that goes in a new relationship. Giving up your hobbies can take away an outlet that once let you relieve stress. Without an outlet for your stress, your relationship can suffer. If your partner insists that you give up a non-relationship harmful hobby in order to spend time with them, this could cause you to be unhappy.

Sources:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml#Intro