Is the "Resident Evil" Series Soon to Become Extinct?

Take this review with a grain of salt. I'm indifferent towards this trilogy. I've never played the video games, I didn't care for the first film, and I didn't bother watching the second film. If I didn't have to review "Resident Evil: Extinction," I probably wouldn't have made the trek out to my local multiplex to see it. Now that you know where I stand, I'll tell you what I think about "Extinction." It's not bad. Should I keep going? Okay, okay.

The T-Virus has effaced civilization. The only people left on Earth are the unhallowed directorates at the Umbrella Corporation, a ragtag faction of armed vigilantes, and of course, Alice. The film opens with an Alice clone waking up in the hallways of Umbrella Corp. Complaint #1 - Why are Milla Jovovich's small, yet Jesus-approved breasts hidden? C'mon, use your R-rating, you jackasses! Ahem. At any rate, we follow all of the characters through a loose, gauzy plot that involves Romero-esque zombies, Hitchcock-esque bird zombies, and Paul Anderson-esque eye candy.

Luckily, Anderson didn't direct. This picture was skippered by Russell Mulcahy. I wasn't sure what to expect out of "Extinction," what with Mulcahy's resume being so random. He has helmed both "Razorback" and "The Shadow." Yeah, this is the first guy I would pick to direct a violent video game adaptation. The camerawork is actually more palatable than Anderson's paroxysmal, herky-jerk style. We can see most of the action taking place. Amazing. On a technical level, the film is spotless. The special effects are convincing, and the CGI is kept to a minimum.

As per usual, Jovovich is badass. She tries her best to allay the one-dimensional script with a dash of emotion. It's all for naught. There is zero chemistry between her and her cardboard co-stars. Ali Larter is hot. Who needs toothpaste, shampoo, soap, water, and make-up? Larter's Claire is too sexy for good hygiene. Oded Fehr has a big bottom lip. It bothered the hell out of me. Spencer Locke is as cute as a button. Ashanti feels out of place. Can't Hollywood crank out a horror/sci-fi flick without smirching it with a rap/hip-hop star? She may be nice to look at, but she needs to stick to projects that pander to the same demographic as "Coach Carter."

Iain Glen gives a noteworthy performance as Dr. Isaacs. The Isaacs monster (if the monster has a name, you gamers will have to fill me in) isn't terribly imaginative, but at least it's not 100% digital. Select scenes rip off zombie romps of years past. Perhaps "rip off" is too harsh of a word. Let me put it this way...select scenes f*cking regurgitate zombie romps of years past. "Extinction" borrows heavily from "Day of the Dead" and "Return of the Living Dead Part III." This franchise has a distinct macrocosm. In other words, it has its own visual tableau, but beneath the surface, the stories are painfully generic.

"Resident Evil: Extinction" almost doesn't feel like an entire film. It seems like the fans have been waiting for these movies to explode into an epic saga that would give the horror community its equivalent of a "Lord of the Rings" or a "Star Wars." At 95 minutes (that includes the end credits), this glossy Gore A Go-Go rolls over before it feels complete. When is a horror luminary going to step up and take this series above the realm of "eh, it was okay"?