Is Santa Real? What I Want to Tell My Children

My sister has never forgiven me for telling her about Santa. She was only a kindergartener when I let the cat out of the bag, taking away the myth of the jolly old elf who delivered presents every Christmas and replacing it with the harsh reality that there's no toy shop at the North Pole and reindeer can't really fly. I thought I was sharing a great secret. She thought I was taking away the magic of Christmas.

I had learned the truth from our older brother. I was skeptical at first, so to prove his point we sneaked out to my grandparents' trailer and found all the gifts we had asked Santa to bring. Eureka! My big brother had obviously stumbled upon an amazing secret. Thinking that my little sister should also be privy to this discovery, I immediately went to tell her Santa didn't exist.

I don't remember her reaction, but she remembers it vividly. She was devastated and cried. And now, more than three decades later, she still likes to remind me of how I destroyed her childhood innocence. It's become a joke between us, one of those enduring childhood tales that gets retold at family gatherings almost every year, but now that we both have children, I realize just how young she was when I broke the spell and just what I took from her that day.

My daughter is only two and my son just turned eight, so Santa still lives in our house. My son has starting making comments that indicate he might be getting close to the truth, but he still believes. I'm glad. I'm sure that someday much too soon - either this year or perhaps next - someone will let him in on the great charade and he'll come to us to ask the dreaded question: Is Santa real?

What will I say?

I've learned from experience that sometimes the best response to sensitive questions is another question: What do YOU think? Often kids don't want or need a big explanation. It reminds me of the joke about the boy who asked his mom where he came from and she gave him a talk about the birds and the bees. When she finished he said, "But where did I come from? My friend Johnny is from Chicago."

So my first response will be to ask what he thinks. If he's not ready to let go of the magic, I will let him continue to believe, and we'll leave it at that. But if he's noticed that all those shopping mall Santas don't look alike and realized it's impossible to fly around the globe in a single evening, then I'll tell him the truth.

Is Santa real? No, he's not real in the way that he's depicted in cartoons and marketing campaigns and images of him flying through the sky with magic reindeer. But he is real in many other ways, and those are the ones that count. That's why I still believe in Santa. I know the spirit of giving that lives on in Santa comes from a very real man named Saint Nicholas, a generous person who donated his fortune to the poor and devoted his life to helping people, particularly children. His compassion and generosity set a shining example for people around the world who have translated his good deeds into the legend of Santa Claus.

I also believe we are always given gifts in life when we try our best, play well with others, and use our best manners. These are qualities Santa always looks for when deciding who goes on the Nice list and who goes on the Naughty list. But we don't need the fear of Santa's list to practice these traits. We simply need to remember that we'll be rewarded every day for behaving in ways Santa would approve. The rewards may not come in boxes, bags, or bows, but they will come in the form of love, happiness, joy and friendship.

I also believe in the magic of Santa's spirit. I believe life is magical, miraculous and mysterious, just like Santa, but only to those who are willing to believe. In our small world that is also full of hunger, hatred, poverty and grief, the magic of life disappears as soon as you choose to stop believing. Belief in magic takes patience and care. Many people have lost the ability to see small miracles that happen each day because they no longer believe in the inherent goodness of life.

I believe what Santa gives all of us is the ability to hold on to that magic, to see life through the eyes of a child, and to celebrate the wonder of life. A belief in Santa Claus reminds us that it's important to give, to look for the good in others, to enjoy the small things in life, to play and laugh, to let our imagination run wild, and to hope for the impossible. These are things I believe in.

Is Santa real? Yes, in many ways, he is. He is a real symbol for many important things in life. I only hope that when my children find out Santa's merely a symbol for these, they won't be too disappointed. I hope they'll still want to share the mystery of Jolly Old St. Nick with their own kids some day. The world would be a much sadder place without Santa Claus. I was too young to realize the importance of Santa when I stole the magic from my sister, but I hope I am old enough now to pass on the wonder to my children.