Is Sex an Addiction?

Can sex be addictive? Of course, in my own small way, I would say that I am addicted to sex. I love it and don't say no to it within my relationship! However, I lived with a man whom I loved dearly for eleven years that couldn't keep it within our relationship. Under recent counseling sessions, it is appearing that sex can be his addiction. I am not completely sure with this matter. However, I do know that in order to diagnose your issues you have to be completely honest with your counselor, psychologist, etc.

Now, you must know that my ex and I had a wonderful, active sex life. Recently my ex husband put himself in a bad situation as he had done during our eleven years of marriage. He has been remarried for 3 years. They appeared perfect as we had at one time. Then the day came when his wife called me to apologize for everything she had ever said about me and everything she had done to make my life miserable. I paused and all I could say, "he did it to you too didn't he?" She explained to me that she was pregnant, a little over a month. Then she broke down and cried. Her husband had gotten her sister pregnant a month prior to her. I was completely speechless to this, but only could tell her how I knew she felt and how painful it was. Then I told her as my mother had told me, "you have to decide if you want to make it work out, and if you do, you have to drop it and move on. If you don't you have to leave."

This article is not to talk badly of my ex- husband in the least. We had a pretty good marriage, and we were in love most of the eleven years. Recently his wife had him go to a marriage counselor. This is what they discovered: he was a sex addict! He admitted after many years, that he cheated on me, more than I actually knew. He also admitted that he loved us both with all his heart, swore he would never cheat again, but yet he always did. Now I do know that he cheated, even though I wouldn't make myself find proof most of the time because really, I didn't want to know.

If you know someone who is a sex addict, I would have to say that you should take my mother's advice as I did. It hurts tremendously and really can bring you down. However, we can blind ourselves in love. Me, personally, I will never be with another person who cannot remain faithful.

Now, sometimes I do blame myself for his addiction. We jumped into a relationship. He didn't have really any experience with sexual partners. I got pregnant and boom! We were married. When things got tough and when he traveled, he drank more and more until it was an everyday way of life. Alcohol was always involved with his affairs until further in the marriage. Alcohol still remained to initiate the affairs, but the affairs became personal and involved. They weren't one night stands any longer. Once they became more involved, he didn't need alcohol to continue them.

So here I am still pondering, is he really sexually and addict? Or an alcoholic? Maybe he is just both. That is not for me to decide, but for him to decide. However, I do believe that alcohol being eliminated would calm the whole situation.