Is Spanking a Form of Violence?

I think the first thing that needs to be established is to define spanking. It could easily be classified as abuse depending on how it is looked at or defined. To me, spanking is classified as an open-handed smack on a child's bottom. Not with a belt. Not with a paddle. Not with a yard stick or kitchen utensil. With an open hand. Anything else can easily be translated into abuse. Also, I think that the parent needs to know their limits and stay within a certain amount of force. A few smacks on a diapered child's bottom is going to startle them enough to cause a reaction but not necessarily cause pain. The same goes for a toddler or older child in the case of an open handed smack causing enough of a shock and mild pain to let them know that what they did was wrong.

I'm not necessarily agreeing that spanking is the way to go, I'm simply saying that classifying it as child abuse is a bit much. I'm not a parent, so I can't say whether or not I would spank my children. I know that growing up, I got spanked and it made me not want to do whatever it was I had done to get in that position again! My mom also used other forms of punishment on me, such as grounding and/or taking away privileges. I think this worked very well because it was her taking something away from me for a long period of time that she knew I really wanted. So that type of punishment also made me not want to do whatever it was I had done in order to prevent having my stuff taken away.

I think I would probably lean towards taking away privileges rather than spanking my child, especially as they get older. I think as a toddler, though, time outs and taking away toys doesn't always effect them the same way. Kids can find amusement in a cardboard box so taking away their toys isn't always going to get the same effect as it would by taking away video games from a teenager. I almost think a small smack on the bottom, not enough to actually cause pain, would create a definite idea in the child's head that what they were doing is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Because, to be honest, I don't think sitting a three year old down and having a good long heart to heart is going to change anything. They have the attention span of about 2 minutes before they start getting agitated and fidgety. They need a punishment that is going to stick in their head and make them remember that whatever it was they were doing at the time caused them to be in trouble.

It really is a tough issue and I can't say with definite assurance what way I would punish my children if I had any. I don't promote violence of any sort and don't want to teach them that it is ok to hit. But those are personal opinions and values of mine that I know not everyone shares. As much as I hate to admit it, as long as spanking is clearly defined and does not lead into actual child beating and abuse, I think it's really a personal opinion of the parent. I know I don't look down on a parent if they swat their child on the bottom if they are misbehaving at the grocery store or family gathering. I think it's because there really is a clear difference between a swat on the bottom and that of a parent picking their toddler up by the arm and hitting them repeatedly on the bottom, back, legs, etc. which I know happens if a parent gets angry enough. At that point, I would consider it child abuse.

If the parent knows his or her own strength and can stay within those limits without really hurting the child, I don't think spanking is considered abuse. I think a lot of time a spanking really hurts the child's ego more than it physically hurts them. They are embarrassed or ashamed of what they did to be put in that situation and usually stop the behavior that got them there in the first place after a few times of getting in trouble for it!