Is Your Spouse Cheating? How to Tell If They Are

Rebecca Smith
Unfortunately too many people take their relationships for granted and commit adultery. This leaves many broken hearts and torn apart families. The emotional pain that an affair causes is indescribable. It can really tear the other person apart. The adulterer is usually too self-centered to care.

Your "gut feeling" that he/she may be cheating could be a real suggestion that something menacing may be going on. We may not always have the physical proof but just knowing may be enough for us to walk away. Sometimes this is not the case though. We may need more to assure ourselves that what we believe to be true is really real. Hard as though it may be, we must face the facts and take action.

If you believe you are being cheated on please understand that if you do decide to leave, life does go on. The pain will go away. I know at that moment in time it hurts badly and you feel as though your world is falling apart. Keep in mind though, you've lived your life without this person before you got together and you can do it after breaking apart.

Remember to treat yourself if going though a painful breakup or divorce resulting from an affair. Go out and be with friends, take care of yourself physically. Go to the gym, change hair styles, work longer hours, buy new clothes, and stay close with friends. The key to getting over it is keeping yourself distracted. Find out who you are. You don't need that other person to survive.

Here are a few clues that your spouse may be heating up the sheets with someone else.

Your spouse suddenly cares about their appearance. They buy new clothes, change hair styles, underwear, different perfume/cologne, tan and work out.

Intimacy in the bedroom no longer exists or your partner has asked you to do unusual things that make you uncomfortable. Love-making is just not the same anymore; they act or do different things. Your partner tries new sexual techniques.

Your spouse withdraws emotionally. Rarely says "I love you" anymore. No longer cares about upkeep of the home, becomes irritable, aloof and unattached. May start fights over nothing.

Your spouse lies about where and when on everything. Nothing makes sense about what they've been doing.

The amount of what they are spending and what it is on is suddenly secret. Money seems to disappear. Partner hides bills from you.

Your spouse will receive phone calls and take the conversation to the other room so you cannot hear. They whisper into the phone and abruptly hang up. They leave their phone off or on vibrate. The phone is kept close to them at all times.

Your spouse is never around anymore. Always late from work, makes excuses to go out. Doesn't have time for family functions anymore. Goes missing for extended lengths of time and the excuses do not add up.

Your partner spends more time on the internet. Also has secret email accounts. Password protects everything so you cannot access anything. Your spouse flips webpage screens when you enter the room or turns off instant messenger conversations.

Smells like they have had a fresh shower after just coming home from work.

A change in personality or tastes. May act more immature, listen to different music. Interested suddenly in different foods they've never eaten before.

Your partner may start showering you with gifts.

After work your partner heads straight to the shower or bath.

Stops wearing their wedding ring and cannot give a reasonable excuse as to why they can't wear it.

Returns your phone calls long after you have left them a message.

Goes on work outings and does not want you to come.

Takes child seat out of car for no reason.

Keeps a change of clothes in trunk.

Spouse keeps the car cleaner than usual or your find suspicious receipts, lipstick, condoms or hair in vehicle.

They stay up late to "work" on the computer.

There are so many different signs that one can find when their spouse is cheating. If you feel that some or all of these are what you are experiencing, seek advice from a legal counsel and hire a private investigator. If you feel you must confront the person, be sure to do so when the children are not around. To catch an internet affair, purchase one of those downloadable spy ware programs onto their computer and it will track every site they go to, every password, and take pictures every so many seconds of what they are doing. This will provide you with the proof you need.

Before putting yourself through all of this emotional duress, make sure you're ready. Remember life does go on if what you suspect is true. If you feel you may not be able to face the facts then I suggest you do not investigate, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Published by Rebecca Smith

Hello, my name is Becca. I am a 31 year old married mother of four. I was born in the United States and raised in BC Canada. Currently I reside in southern Oklahoma. My children are ages 2 to 14. The wi...  View profile

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