Is Taylor Swift the Best Role Model for Your Daughter?

Teenage girls place a lot of perceived pressure upon themselves. They're bombarded with conflicting messages daily. Girls today are in dire need of positive role models at a time when they're hard to come-by Teen celebrities are known more for their sexually charged exploits and struggles with addictions rather than the talent that placed them in the spotlight. Taylor Swift, thus far, has been the exception.

Swift is somewhat of a freak of nature. One moment she's leading a stage crew of men twice her age and the next she's chasing down a young fan wearing one of her concert t-shirts just for fun. She refers to her fans as her beautiful friends, hugs everyone and dealt with Kayne West's thunder-stealing move with a maturity few adults have

Her talents as singer, songwriter and guitar strummer seemingly have no limits. She has an uncanny knack of reaching into mundane life moments and making them monumental. Her fearlessness in calling people out for their poor behavior stems not from a desire to hurt but more from a need to examine in detail what happened and why. If past boyfriends feel unfairly treated, they shouldn't. Swift doesn't subject her male suitors to any more scrutiny than she does herself. She's a modern day Rumpelstiltskin taking all the pain of her life and spinning it into a golden future.

As parents we should point our girls in Swift's direction for what she is doing now but also for where she has been. She has not outright stated she was bullied in school. She has, however, indicated she was more of an outsider looking in, taking notes while everyone else battled to the top. Her first album is ripe with the yearnings and tragedies of being a teenage girl. What is unexpected is the resolution she brings to the turmoil in her songs. She doesn't minimize her pain or emotional response to rejection. She accepts it and owns it and emerges the victor because of it.

Many teens today fall victim to the overwhelming need to be liked. In their intense desire to be seen as perfectly popular, they succumb to the desire to do whatever it takes to keep their flaws hidden. Compounding the problem is that what they perceive to be a flaw may be no such thing. This skewed self-image has led countless girls to behave in ways opposite to how they actually feel. For example, girl A is dating a guy but refuses his sexual advances. The guy then begins paying attention to girl B who has a reputation of being sexually active. Girl A may consent to sex just to keep the guy. In this scenario her personal value of not engaging in sex is crushed under the fear that others will perceive her as being flawed if they know she was dumped for not having sex. If she doesn't respect herself enough to take a stand for what she believes in, then no one else is going to respect her either.

However, if there is an adored celebrity traveling down the same learning path of life as girl A, then her belief-system is fortified. We must engage in a non-stop onslaught of self-esteem building in our teens. They will listen and it will make a difference in their lives even if it doesn't seem so right now. When what we are trying to teach them is exemplified through someone whom they admire, the message is doubled.

Your daughter may throw an award-winning tantrum when she's forbidden to wear the same provocative clothing her friends do. If she is a Taylor Swift fan rather than a Miley Cyrus fan, you will likely have less drama. She has seen Swift be pretty, fashionable, popular and successful, all while remaining respectably clothed. Cyrus, on the other hand, seems to lose a little more clothing with each appearance she makes.

Cyrus and Swift have been parallel rising stars. They are talented, attractive and under- going the same pressures of achieving their dream at a very young age. Throughout the years Cyrus's name has become synonymous with controversy. Many talk about Cyrus but rarely for her talent. Talk about Cyrus includes controversial photos, a stripper pole, indecent exposure and underwear clad performances.

Swift completely blows apart Cyrus's defense of being the sexy bad girl in order to create a more mature image and be successful in the music industry. It's a lesson we must reiterate to our daughters over and over until they believe it. We have a responsibility to teach our daughters how to be the star God intended them to be.

Sources

Evans, Rory; Life After The Fairy Tale: Pop Princes Taylor Swift On Staying Grounded While Living Her Dream, Parade, October 24, 2010 pgs 8-10 & 30

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Swift

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miley_Cyrus