Is Your Teen or Tween Too Sexy, Too Soon?

I've been teaching after-school programs for a while now, and I have to tell you: you'd be surprised at some of the clothes that I see my middle school students wearing, if not down-right scandalous. We're talking shirts cut down to there, much too tight jeans, and, in general, clothes much to sexy for even a high school student to be wearing to school, let alone a pre-teen.

Is your teen too sexy? Are you worried that your teenaged daughter is dressing too sexy for her age? If you've got a problem with your teens wearing sexy clothes, you've got to do your job as a parent to teach your child the best way to dress to accentuate her assets, without looking like some underage hoochie mama.

Don't ignore your teen dressing too sexy

First of all, don't just ignore the problem. If your teen is dressing too sexy, you need to have a conversation with your daughter. Try to find out why she is dressing the way that she is dressing. If there's a problem, be honest. Don't let your daughter leave the house looking too sexy and hope that the kids at school will straighten her out. Getting your teen to dress appropriately is your job. If you need to do it, enlist the help of an older female teen to talk to your teen or tween about dressing too sexy. Do you really want your teen's teacher to have to talk to her about dressing too sexy at school? How embarrassing!

Don't yell at your teens dressing sexy

Haven't your learned by now that yelling at your teenaged daughter accomplishes nothing? Don't scream to try to solve a problem. Instead, take some time out of your day to sit and have a chat with your too sexy teen about the way she's dressing. Look at some pictures with her and talk about what clothes are subtle and sexy. Tell her what messages too sexy clothing can send, and why it worries you. Give her reasons for your worry instead of just yelling at her to go change.

Examine your own wardrobe

If you've got a low-cut shirt that shows off your cleavage or you like to wear tight denims, you can't exactly fault your teen for dressing the same way. Take a look at what unintentional messages you might be sending your too sexy teen. Could your wardrobe use a little toning down as well? Make a day of shopping together for clothes that suggest rather than reveal.

Just say no to too sexy teens and too sexy tweens

You are the parent here. Stop acting like you are your teen's best friend and being so concerned about whether she'll still like you. Teach her self-respect by respecting yourself. Tell her she can't dress the way that she is dressing and still live under your roof. If calm discussions don't work, you need to take a more drastic step, and even if you don't want to kick her out of your house, you might need to threaten that to let your sexy teen know that her wardrobe is unacceptable. Don't buy her the too sexy clothes then complain about them later. Don't just hand over your credit card and drop your too sexy teen off at the mall. Go clothes shopping together.

Sheer bribery

Who's paying for these clothes anyway? You are. This means you have control over what clothes your teen can purchase. Once your teen figures out that she'll get more clothing by agreeing with your decisions than by fighting you, she'll wise up fast. Make her try on everything and make sure it meets your approval before you plunk down the cash. When she's eighteen and buying her own clothes, she can dress however she wants. Until then, she who controls the cash controls the wardrobe.

Be sneaky

Okay, sometimes you have to resort to drastic measures, and if surreptitiously donating your teen's too sexy clothing is what you have to do to get your point across, that's the method you're going to have to use. But don't resort to this step unless it's absolutely necessary because it's a surefire way to get your too sexy teen to resent you. However, if that's slinky black dress that you just can't stand happens to disappear when you are doing the wash, so be it.