Is Your Teenage Daughter a Bully?

Raising your children right is often a big concern for parents. Therefore, when you learn that your child may be having trouble socializing, or may even be bullying her classmates, you may be at a loss for how to handle the issue. Though teen girls don't often bully with fists, the words and emotional damage of a teenage bully can last other girls into adulthood. If you suspect that your teenage daughter is a bully, these tips may help you weather the storm.

Monitor clues of bullying behavior.
GirlsHealth.gov offers a list of bullying behavior that parents should be on the lookout for. It includes, but is not limited to, blaming others for her problems, lacking empathy, being excited by conflict, and an enjoyment of power and control. If you see these or similar behaviors in your teenage daughter, she may be a bully.

Listen when contacted by the school or other parents.
If you learn about your daughter's bullying behavior from the school or other parents, you may be quick to come to your daughter's defense. Instead, try to stay calm and hear what's happening. Assure the school and other parents that you will deal with the situation and that you appreciate their feedback.

Encourage open communication with your child.
Communicating openly with your daughter can help you understand why bullying behavior is going on, get to the root of problems early on, and catch further issues before they develop.

Monitor and focus on anger management at home.
If your daughter's bullying does take the shape of violence, it's important to focus on appropriate anger management at home. When you see your tween or teenage daughter's mood begin to escalate, work on helping her find more productive venues for her frustration.

Be positive.
When your daughter is deserving of praise and encouragement, be sure to give it freely. Many bullies often have low self-esteem themselves.

Keep an eye on your own anger or bullying behavior.
Has your daughter learned this behavior from you? Though we don't want to admit it, our children do learn from watching us. Do you gossip about other mothers behind their backs, or have trouble dealing with your own anger? If so, you may be inadvertently teaching your teenager this behavior. Work on expressing yourself in a more positive manner, especially in front of your child.

Seek outside help.
If you are having a hard time managing your teenage daughter's bullying behavior, consider seeking outside help from a counselor. Touching base with the counseling office at your child's school is a great place to start--they may be able to point you in the right direction.

Don't lose faith.
It can be easy to take full responsibility for your child's behavior and wind up feeling discouraged. Don't lose faith--if you see the problem and are working to address it, you are doing all you can. Keep up the hard work, moms and dads! It will be worth it in the long run.

Resource:
Girls Health; http://www.girlshealth.gov/parents/parentsbullying/daughterbully.cfm