Is Television Ruining Your Marriage?

Whenever I see advertisements or articles on the topic "Save My Marriage," one thing comes to mind. Turn off the television! Any relationship expert will agree that communication is key to a successful marriage. My view is how can you communicate effectively and often enough when the TV is constantly going in the background?

Americans spend at least four hours per day watching television. That's 28 hours per week, 120 hours per month and 1,460 hours per year! I think that's insane. Think about how all these hours of watching television is affecting your marriage. How many hours per day do you spend talking to your husband or wife? I bet it's not four. Take a moment to really think about how much time you can comfortably replace watching TV with spending time with your spouse.

My husband and I do not watch television often. In fact, in the last month, we watched exactly zero hours of television. We have cable, although I'm not sure why. But, I strongly believe the lack of television watching that goes on in our house is one reason why we have such a wonderful relationship.

That's not to say we do absolutely everything together. We do have things we enjoy on our own, which is also important. You can't spend every moment together. But, I think we do a lot more than most couples do together. We have conversations, we go for walks, we do things together like model cars and puzzles. We even run errands together most of the time. We don't have to wait for a show to be over or be back in a hurry because a show is coming on.

It's impossible to have any meaningful conversations during commercial breaks. Even if you're not actively watching, it's still on and it's still a distraction every time you glance to see what's going on. You don't have to stop watching television, but just making a few small changes can really make a difference in the quality of your marriage.

The worst place a television can be is in the bedroom. If you have a TV in your bedroom, take it out. The most important time for a couple to spend together is before they go to bed. My parents have been married for 45 years and although they do watch television every night, they don't have a TV in the bedroom. Before they actually go to sleep at night, they lay down and talk with each other. This is essential in a marriage.

Avoid watching television while eating dinner. Turn it off or put it on pause. Sit down at the table and eat together. Cook together at least once per week. You can go back to the TV after you're done with dinner. But, those 15-20 minutes are extremely important to spend with your family.

Pick a few shows that you absolutely love and set your TV to record them. Watch them at your leisure. If it's something your spouse doesn't like, watch it while they're not around. Watch shows you both like together. One night a week, TV should be off limits to both of you.

Of course, sometimes it's nice to curl up on the couch with your honey and watch a show you both enjoy. But, how often does this happen? Probably less often than you would like. Don't plan your marriage around television, plan television around your marriage.