Is Texting Stoking the Flames of Love or Dousing Your Fire?

Communications in romantic relationships have evolved past the love letter; past the greeting card; and have moved into the technological. You are much more likely to receive an email, instant message or a text now. In a world where virtually everyone has a cell phone and the desire to deliver messages quicker, texting is quite commonplace between romantic partners. The question we pose is: does texting help or hurt a romantic relationship?

The short answer is: it depends on who, what, when and how often you are texting.

Helpful - Sending a short unexpected message just to let your partner know you are thinking about them and that you love them.

Hurtful - Telling someone you love them for the first time via text.

Sometimes a surprise text just to send a nice sentiment can really make someone's day. However, saying those three little words for the first time in a text is impersonal and insulting. Save that for a face to face encounter. That goes for other big news also. Asking for that first date or proposing marriage should be given the appropriate level of attention that a text just can't manage to achieve.

Helpful - Texting your sweetheart back in a timely manner.

Hurtful - Non-response to text.

It is just polite to text back. Acknowledge that you received a text at the very least. The only thing worse than you not texting back is finding out that you are exchanging texts regularly and quickly with someone else of the opposite sex. Been there; my texts weren't being answered but if a certain other young woman texted, it was replied to within minutes. This will not sit well with your partner.

Helpful - Using texts to touch base when nothing else is possible.

Hurtful - Using texts exclusively without any other form of communication.

Sometimes you just can't make a call. Maybe you are in a business meeting or in a crowded place where hearing would be a problem. Definitely use this as a way to stay in touch and connected; just don't make texts your only forms of communication. I know I still need to have conversation that isn't electronic. Good old face-to-face talking and intimacy are still necessary to nurture a relationship

Basically, if you use some common sense and think about your texting habits then you can only help your relationship. But, like all communications, there is a chance of misunderstanding and hurt feelings when not approached the right way.