Is There Such a Thing as Going Too Slow in a Relationship?

People are always dispensing advice on the perils of moving too quickly in a relationship. The benefits of taking things slowly seem to be endless. Getting to know a person's quirks, intentions, goals, and dreams are seemingly much easier when you avoid rushing into romance. But are there actually perils to taking things too slowly? In other words, can you sabotage a relationship by being too careful? This is a topic that isn't typically covered in pop culture advice columns. But there is some evidence that being too cautious can present some unforeseen adversity. When you've been presented with a new love interest, the process of falling in love can run interference with your common sense. Taking your time can be wonderful. But taking a bit too much time to dive into romance can be more detrimental than one might imagine.

Mixed Signals

Ok, so let's say that you have two, or maybe three good dates under your belt with a new love interest. While there are no hard and fast rules governing exactly how your relationship should proceed, you can easily run the risk of sending mixed signals. For instance, if your text messages and emails are filled with romantic rhetoric, but you fail to follow up your written sweet nothings with the appropriate attention, you may find that the object of your affections gets a bit confused about your intentions. You needn't "jump your sweetie's bones" simply to make a point. But a certain amount of balance between what you say and what you do is imperative to making your feelings known. In other words, mean what you say-and let your actions follow. If you're uncomfortable with moving too quickly in the physical sense, alluding to this kind of behavior in your casual banter would be ill advised.

Internal "Censoring"

It's only natural that you watch the things that you say and do during the beginning stages of your relationship. After all, you want to make the best impression you possibly can. But if you spend too much time censoring your behavior, then you run the chance of missing all the natural nuances that make your relationship more authentic. If you continue to second guess yourself in order to "make a good impression", then the person never gets a true idea of how you react to life's circumstances.

Big Gaps In Between Dates

Conflicting schedules may certainly have a lot to do with the fact that you're not able to date a few times a week. But if you've got huge gaps between the times you actually spend time together, then you may have some trouble keeping up the momentum in your newfound romance. There may in fact be several reasons why your dates are far and few. But the person you're attempting to woo may begin to think that you're not as interested as you say you are. There is a chance that you (or your partner) are still "interviewing" other candidates. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. But if this is indeed the case, it's best that you communicate this so that the other party doesn't get the wrong idea about where your romance is heading.

SOURCES:

www.ivillage.com
www.about.com
www.psychologytoday.com