Is it Time to End Your Relationship?
Assessing Your Relationship
However, newness fades and the relationship stales. Many times when everything else has been tried, thoughts of ending the relationship come into play. How do you know it is time to move on?
Being realistic about your feelings is the first step. You need to assess your wants and needs to see if they have changed. Then look at your partner and assess him or her, as he or she is, and evaluate whether they fit into the grander scheme of your life. While your life should be lived in the present and each day made as special as it can be, it is not wise to ignore what the future may bring.
If you are being abused, hurt, cheated on, or lied to then chances are the relationship will not survive. If the issue has been brought up repeatedly, and remains unresolved, then your own happiness must become paramount. The connection you have with your partner should never include one of a degrading and insulting nature.
Think about the future you are creating. Consider the extra burden you are carrying in dealing with your partners' behavior. Is he a shameless flirt? Is she bossy and demanding? Insecurity and lack of confidence can lead to problems down the road. Relationships are not about control and manipulation. When those factors enter into the relationship, and cannot be removed, it is time to end it.
Do you truly enjoy each other's company? Do you find yourself relieved whenever you part company? If a sense of relief occurs within you at your partners leaving, then this is a large sign that should not be ignored. Relationships need communication and closeness to survive. If you're finding yourself wishing your partner were gone more than you wish they were there, the end is near.
Evaluate your role in maintaining the relationship. Relationships are a two-way street. Each person has to be involved in giving and taking. When one person takes more and does not reciprocate, the relationship begins to wane. Equal participation and reciprocation in a relationship is imperative to its survival.
Does your partner show by actions that you are still important? As they say, actions speak louder than words. Your partners actions may change over time, but the attentiveness in their actions should not change. If your partner continually forgets to call, or ignores your calls, you have to ask yourself if this is acceptable to you. If not, then decisions will need to be made.
Do you feel accepted and appreciated? What can really be said in response to this question? If you are not feeling appreciated and you have discussed it with your partner and nothing changes, Move On.
Each person has to assess why he or she is in the relationship and how much mistreatment he or she is willing to accept in that relationship. Eventually, continued neglect between partners will result in hard feelings and a hurtful end to the relationship. Keep in mind that this assessment should be made after one feels they have made all the attempts necessary to revive the relationship.
Published by Greg Wendland
Born in Michigan, Greg has lived in several states and abroad. He is a self-proclaimed 'Student of Human Nature'. He enjoys working as a Freelance Writer as well as owning and operating a computer repair bu... View profile
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9 Comments
Post a Commenti have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. he always promises me he will change and he still hasnt yet. we have 2 kids. he is verbally abusive usually only when he is mad. he has cheated on me a few times. he has been abusive on a few accasions, pulling my hair,pushing shoving, and had pumched me
Be sure that is truly what you want. Imagine life without this person, imagine this person with someone else, are you happy with this.
me and my boyfriend has been togeather 13 years, he doesnt have a job this has been going on for a year he doesnt want children i feel i am getting to old to wait around for him to grow up he is going to school but only because i have made him. i am very very close to his family. just a few days ago i went out of town for a week and i didnt even miss him. he doesnt act like he loves me anymore we ahvent even had sex in almost a year.
i forgave my wife cheeting on me 5 yrs ago thinking why ruin a 15 yr old love marriage with 3 kids,but again i caught her doing it again.m devastated.
Btw, that was me, I started writing before I logged in. I wish you the best.
Vicky, your post puts me in mind of a book I've read a few times. It's by David Eddings, called 'The Losers'. You might find yourself relating to the characters in that book, with your situation.
Remember this, fear is the immobilizing factor in any life. If you're too afraid of taking chances, and making changes, then you will never truly be happy. If you're in a relationship that makes you unhappy, you have two choices. Fix the relationship or let it go. If you've tried fixing it and it still doesn't work, then you might have to make a different choice.
There is a quote that I like: "The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result each time." At some point, you will realize that the situation is more damaging to your kids by keeping them within it than it is if you leave it. In other words, you cannot make decisions such as this based on how the children will feel immediately following the decision. Kids are resilient and adapt m
I wish i knew what to do,im so scared of leaving my partner because the hurt it will create for our children,im scared of being alone,struggling to bring them up out of a family unit,he treats me like crap,does not trust me,even stole money out of my bank account,what kind of family man does that when they have children to feed,im on benifits,and when we argue,he ignores the phone and stays out all night.he will not be grown up and have a sit down serious conversation to try and work things out.Am i wasting my'n and my childrens time on a loser,im a pretty girl 24 years old,i know in time i could meet a nice man,im just scared of taking the plunge x
Sania, your life will not become an empty hole, you will be reborn. If you're unhappy now, explore other options - good luck to you!
By reading this article it has made me realize i am living in a land of my own and that, my relaitionship has come to a point for me to say goodbye but it easy to say and so difficult to. i hve been with my partner for five years and have shared everything with. i am close to his family how can you let go and move on, My life will become one big empty hole