Is the World's Meanest Dog an English Cocker Spaniel?

According to a new study conducted at the School of Veterinary Medicine at the Autonomous University of Barcelona, the world's meanest dog is an English Cocker Spaniel. When I came across this story on the Discovery Channel, I just knew I had to write about it because I am the proud owner of an English Cocker Spaniel, the nicest dog in the world.

First of all, I'd like to say that I have interacted with a plethora of dogs throughout the world (not just in Barcelona) - both in everyday life and at dog shows - and I can tell you that this study is nothing but malarkey. TheEnglish CockerSpaniel is one of the sweetest breeds, and not just to their owners, but to everyone. They are known for jumping up on people, kissing and hugging them - maybe a bunch of English Cockers in Spain hugged their owners to death? That could be the only explanation I could possibly see for this insane study.

Now onto the supposed facts which I think were created by people who were smoking weed at the time they wrote them. Marta Amat, a researcher at the above mentioned university and the author of the findings that appear in the Journal of Veterinary Behavior, stated that English Cocker Spaniels showed more aggression and hostility towards their owners and other dogs than any other breed. Excuse me while I laugh before continuing with this moronic story.

Between 1998-2006, the researchers allegedly studied over 1,000 cases of canine aggression brought to a nearby veterinary teaching hospital - oh yeah, that's legitimate, just use one vet hospital to determine the meanest dog in the world - which led the researches to the conclusion that English Cocker Spaniels are indeed the meanest dogs in the world. Let me guess, the English Cockers didn't compliment them on their white lab coats and they're now holding a grudge.

Amat went on to say that red coated English Cocker Spaniels were worse than the other colors - ah, that explains it; that explains why my liver colored English Cocker is so nice. I better make sure he stays out of the sun or his red highlights will change him just like the Hulk. I better sleep with one eye open tonight because Euri, my English Cocker Spaniel, might just try to lick me to death.