It's All About YOU - a Fun Personality Test

A. Ask if the child will bear your name and confirm you're the godparent

B. Look into adoption and/or artificial insemination

C. Buy yourself a new outfit to celebrate (blue in honor of a boy, pink for a girl

D. Congratulate her and buy her baby a nice gift

2. Your mother has to have surgery You:

A. Make sure you're in her Will

B. Schedule a doctor's appointment of your own

C. Buy a new black dress so everyone will think you're in mourning and feel sorry for you.

D. Use your vacation time to be there and help her out

3. It's your birthday. You:

A. Buy a billboard to announce it to the world at large

B. Talk your best friend into planning a surprise party for you

C. Buy yourself a birthday present - probably a new outfit

D. Call your parents and thank them

4. Your co-worker got a big promotion, one for which you didn't even apply. You:

A. Pout and tell her it isn't that big a deal

B. Smile while seething, plotting (but never actually carrying out) your revenge

C. Buy yourself a hot new outfit to get the CEO's attention

D. Be sincerely happy for her, and buy her a piece of art for her new office

5. Whenever you see a mirror, you:

A. Lean in closer to admire yourself

B. Pretend to check for flaws you certainly don't have

C. Check the back of your new outfit for lint or loose threads

D. Turn away as quickly as possible - who is that poor loser?

6. Someone pays you a compliment. You:

A. Agree - when they're right, they're right

B. Blush prettily (this took years of practice) and say thank you

C. Pretend modesty and tell them it's just the new outfit

D. Disagree vehemently and compliment them

7. Your spouse does you a favor, expecting nothing in return. You

A. Don't bother to say thank you; after all, you married him and you're worth it

B. Say thank you and remind him of all the favors you've meant to do for him over the past few months

C. You're on a roll; you buy yourself some new shoes to go with all your new outfits.

D. Write them a loving thank you note AND send them flowers at work.

8. Your goofy next door neighbor finally works up the nerve to ask you out. You:

A. Laugh so hard you almost wet your pants

B. Decline politely, citing your numerous differences

C. Plan to switch fashion designers - this line is obviously attracting the wrong kind of attention

D. Accept and have a great time laughing together

9. Your sibling asks you to babysit his kids for a weekend. You

A. List all the reasons you couldn't possibly take that kind of time away from your actual life

B. Pretend you're sick with something that's contagious and disgusting - kids scare you.

C. Explain that your wardrobe just isn't equipped for childcare and you don't have time to shop

D. Accept immediately, remembering how much fun it is to tell his kids about all the dorky things he
did when you were kids

10. You find yourself (oddly) alone. You:

A. Call someone and make plans immediately - you need admiration the way most people need air

B. Schedule a marathon spa session

C. Review your wardrobe, planning for next season

D. Sleep - even selfless people get tired of themselves sometimes

Test Results:

Queen of the Narcissists

If you chose mostly A answers, you either need a serious dose of reality or a good smack. The world is not your mirror and other people do exist. We don't recommend professional assistance since all you're likely to do is talk about yourself. Instead, we think you should volunteer to clean up dog poop at the local animal shelter every day.

Narcissist in Waiting

If you chose mostly B answers, you're self-involved enough to know that you're too self-involved, but you haven't admitted you have a problem or you have admitted it, but you're not quite ready to do anything about it yet. Ask your friends for help while you still have some.

Aspiring Narcissist

If you chose mostly C answers, you'd like to be a narcissist, but you have limited your tendencies to just one area of your life. You're okay for now, but watch that you don't start behaving narcissistically in other areas of your life too.

Anti-Narcissist

If you chose mostly D answers, you're not at all narcissistic, but you often give yourself the bad end of the deal. Stop that. You're allowed to care about yourself just as much as you care about others. Buy yourself something fun or accept a compliment once in awhile. We promise it won't make you a narcissist, and it might even make you a little less annoying to the rest of the world.

Normally Narcissistic

If you chose a variety of answers and no more than two As or Bs, you're a balanced, garden variety narcissist and probably in no danger of going over the edge into obnoxious, egotistically maniacal behavior at the moment. You do have your days, of course.