It's Amazing: A Testament to God's Love

I've hit a point of my life where I've been doing a lot of reflection. I've actually started seeing the actions of others and how I've done the same or similar actions in my life. My past mistakes, self-defeating, self-destructive behaviors; my sins, if you will.

See, for a first time I see, that I've really only had control of my life maybe twenty five to thirty percent of My life. God has laid a set of choices in front of Me. By My own free will I chose whichever seemed to best suit My needs at the time. Most of the time ending up with negative results. These choices impacted My life for better or worse, and each choice had the same effect on several others around me. Friends, Family, employers, co-workers, my neighbor

I've always seem to keep walking in Gods good graces though. For the longest time I publicly denied God, but when the going got tough Who would I run to as a last resort. That's right Him, and God would grant My prayers, sometimes directly but most of the time indirectly and I was blind to see just how He worked His Mo Jo in My Life.

Until one day God literally called Me into His office. It reminded Me of Don Corlione from The Godfather, Marlon Brando's raspy voice laying down an offer I couldn't refuse.

"How many favors have You asked from Me, and how many did I grant. You begged me to save You from Jail, from Prison, How many times I remove the handcuffs for You when You were arrested." He spoke with authority. " Every time" I replied.
"and when You felt alone from heartache caused by Your own sins, divorce, adultery, deceit. Did I not grant You a wife, a child? A child that You begged Me to save from death after She was born premature. Did I Not grant You these gifts?" He questioned with a gaze of pure fire.

"YesMy Lord, You granted My Hearts Desires" I replied, slowly figuring out what He was getting through to Me.

He spoke agin, this time in a tone that I knew meant business , a tone like the hammer of a gun cocked back, a guillotine being raised. "Then what have You done for Me, how have You tried to repay of these favors?"

"None My Lord, None" I replied, with a feeling of shame washing over Me.

He leaned in closer to me, whispering to Me "Then consider options to repay Your debts to Me, before I remove these gifts that I have granted You, Your family, Your friends, Your talents, Your freedoms each slowly disappearing from Your life until life is the last gift You have left." He paused, "and if You recall, every time You tried in the past to take Your own life, You failed. Why do You think that is?"

"Because You would not let Me die Lord?" I replied.

"No because I wasn't finished teaching You Yet, You always were sort of a slow learner" He replied, with a healthy chuckle. "Now go still in My graces, and consider what I have said to You" With a wave of his had I was bum rushed out of His office.

His Lessons have taken Me days, Months, Years to learn, I've Chosen to keep in His grace, He has already proven to be My best friend, and all he wants is for Me to proudly speak His name, and reflect His graces in My life. He is person I talk to the most, You'll find Me praising His name over even the silliest of things. "Thank You Lord for this amazing bowel movement, thank You Lord for this cigarette. Thank You Lord!"

I've started reading His word every chance I get, Meditating on it, actually understanding it, and then seeing it play out in My daily life. He speaks to me directly, and indirectly constantly, and I've finally learned to appreciate and utilize His wisdom. See the choices He lays in front of me, and choosing the right one, or at least close. Picture it as a card game God lays out two a thousand cards, You can choose a high card like an ace, or a low card or even the dreaded joker card. Here's the real kicker the card dealer God already knows what Your going to pick, He Just likes to see You choose. He understands we need to get a handful of low cards before We figure it out that the deck is marked. Gods the highroller here, He's the pit boss. He knows Your counting cards trying to get an upper hand in the game.

It's just mind blowing the little signs He throws out there daily to each of Us that just goes unnoticed , past up.

I Myself always liked schemes that were well orchestrated, wether it be a robbery, a practical joke, what ever if it took several people and a little bit of planning I dug it, and My hat goes of to God, He was a thousand steps ahead of Me in every scheme I ever took part in, or even thought up.

Friends often ask me what has gotten me so spiritual, and Jesus Freak like, And I reply with "God gave me a pimp slap and told Me to get back on the street and spread his word"

Most just stare at Me, and it only confirms them that I've lost My mind, a few get My point with little or no further explanation. Most say they've never met a Christian quite like Me.

Praise the Lord for His Glory, and Thank You Lord for Your Gifts, Thank You for those Who have read this story this far. Thank You daddy, thank You!