It's Your Attitude

Just as those around you affect you, your attitude influences them. Projecting a positive attitude really helps create a positive environment. Have you noticed that you tend to want to be around people who are happy? Most people do. If you are a Grumpy Gus not too many people are going to hang around you. As strange as it may seem, you are in charge of your own attitude.

Zig Ziglar in his book Something Else to Smile About: More Encouragement and Inspiration for Life's Ups and Downs writes: "You can take control of your own thoughts, actions, and emotions, which means you can take control of your life." People can influence you, but only you can make the changes. What it boils down to is: no one can change your attitude for you; no matter how badly they want to help - it's all up to you. If you find that you want to change, start by shifting your focus. For example, if you are focused on the one bad event of the day change it to all the good events that happened that day.

To encourage this thinking, each night before you go to bed write in a journal all the things you are grateful for and all the blessings that happened that day. At first, it will be slow going. Just hang in there it gets better with time. Richard Carloson says in Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff , "To me, gratitude and inner peace go hand and hand. The more genuinely grateful I feel for the gift of life, the more peaceful I feel."

An example of what I'm writing about in my journal: Today, I am grateful for that parking spot that was close to the building ; for my mother who made a wonderful lunch today; for the beautiful flowers in my yard; for the pretty little toddler who came in with her mother at my job, her bright smile and happy waves made my day; for the insight I had today on what to write next; for AC updating the pvs; for the wonderful comments made about my articles, for the sprinkler that waters my lawn, so I don't have to stand out there in 100 degree heat; for my mother just because she is my mother; for finishing one my long term projects at work today; for feeling good ... I'm sure you get the idea by now.

I do know a positive attitude seems like hard work, especially if you are dealing with a negative person or situation. Most of us don't wake up in a positive attitude automatically, but we can access it with some effort. Work on yourself-don't bother trying to change others, you are the only one you can change. A good start is to get the negative messages out of your head and replace them with positive messages. Ellen F. Simes writes in The Attitude Equation that "...psychologists estimate that as much as 72% of our self talk is negative." Simes suggests that we can change our self talk by first being aware of the negative messages; then use positive affirmations to change these messages. For example, I have trouble being calm during a traffic jam when I need to be some where. To change my negative thoughts I use the affirmation "I am where I need to be at this moment in time."

You need to look for happiness on purpose. Yes, go look for it - don't wait for it to sneak up on you. If you slip up and have a negative reaction, do not beat yourself up. Just pick up from there and find another way to look at your situation. Some of the worst events in my life have turned out in the long run to have a positive affect on me. Just be aware that just because a situation seems negative doesn't mean you have to let it affect your attitude. Remember who is in charge of you. Dr. Victor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor wrote "Everything can be taken from a man but...the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Did you realize that when you let another person upset your day, that you are giving that person power over you? You cannot control what another does, but you can control how you react. In other words: how you feel, what you do is up to you, not anyone else. Personally, I would rather feel good about myself and the world I live. Don't take someone's bad behavior personally. More than likely it doesn't have anything to do with you. They could be dealing with massive emotional and/or physical problems and are not aware of how they are projecting themselves. Please don't take it upon yourself to point it out to them. Believe me, it will not help. Remember the only attitude you have totally control over, is your own. Just remain calm, talk in a gentle voice, use a non-threatening body language and the person who was so upset will slowly calm down.

Norman Vincent Peale, preacher and author of The Power of Positive Thinking, wrote: "The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results." Look at your world, it is a reflection of your thoughts. Do you like what you see? Great if you do; if you don't like what you are seeing - change yourself . You are the only one who can do it.

My last quote is by Kahil Gibran, poet, philosopher, artist and writer "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." Your attitude is up to you, no one can make you have a positive or negative attitude. It is all up to you.

Your attitude is a powerful tool, please use it wisely.