It's Guys like Timothy Sexton that Give Immorality a Bad Name

Regarding the article Sick, Sad Week: The Republican Family Values Edition, I must say that I am utterly shocked and appalled, even flabbergasted and flummoxed at Timothy Sexton's allegations… Well, I guess they're actually more like observations since they're true… Ok - his factual reporting of GOP "shenanigans"…Ok, Ok - possible Conservative "blunders"…OK, OK!! - total Republican Party hypocrisy! Sheesh, excuse me for trying to put a little spin on things…

So along comes Timothy Sexton who has the nerve to assail the bargeloads of bullshit that we work so hard - 24-7 - to produce. Does he even have the slightest appreciation for the kind of sinister creativity it takes to cast aspersions of this caliber on a daily basis? Or is it that he just doesn't realize that we alone are the arbiters of good-ol', true-blue, crew-cut-wearin', American Morality? I think maybe the thing that he's not getting here is that while we engage in behavior that is, for the most part, even worse than the behavior we condemn, we can actually handle giving ourselves over to temptation once in a while (the occasional fall from grace, as 'twere) unlike the godless, liberal scum of the earth. Or don't you realize that we have exclusive rights to The Almighty's forgiveness? That's right - Pat Robertson and The Religious Right are on our side, in case you haven't noticed. You bleeding-heart, PBS-watchin' heathens probably don't even know the meaning of contrition. That's the difference. Allow me to cite an example from the last decade which Timothy Sex-ton (See there? Even the man's name is suspect!) alluded to in his article. Unlike our boys in the pulpit, I haven't seen any liberal preachers on TV blubbering about how they've sinned and then asking for forgiveness (Besides, "liberal preacher" is one o' them oxymorons, anyway). Ok, so our boy Swaggart turned right around and solicited prostitution again not long after that but, look, forgiveness is not just a one-shot deal. It's an infinite wellspring to be drawn upon whenever we have the need. A lot like a Republican budget deficit. Same kind of thing…

Now, concerning our very own representatives like Mark Foley, how do we know that he wasn't just intending to offer guidance to this young, virile page. He may have just made those suggestive emails simply to impress the young man. You know, to show that he is "hep," and "with it." Or, as the kids say these days, "has a little street crud." He may have simply wanted to counsel the boy the way, say, a Scout Leader or priest did back in my day.

And for those of you who charge that anyone in the Republican leadership who was aware is somehow complicit, well, you can blame your own ignorance for not knowing how The Good Ol' Boy Network operates! Besides, Timothy, you're arguing against yourself if you say that Republicans should get involved in their colleagues' affairs. You yourself acknowledge they're trying to cover up their own adulterous behavior! It's a simple conflict of interest! Son, it's apparent you have no shame, but have you no sense?!

And how dare you bring Family Values into this! Isn't it enough that the sancitiy of the home has been all but obliterated by allowing women in the workplace and that good-paying jobs have been lost through the promotion of equal opportunity? That wasn't the doing of our party, I can tell you. We want nothing to do with such societal abominations! I mean, why not just leave well enough alone?

If you want progress, then give credit where credit is due: Richard M. Nixon's bold, groundbreaking act which lead to our current Patriot Act, for instance. Sure, he started with only one building but we needed to take baby steps back then, what with your insidious, nosey ACLU and so forth.

And speaking of nosey, doesn't Timothy Sexton and his ilk have anything better to do than follow the goings-on of the officials of our representative government and keep abreast (forgive my language, Lord) of the activity of this democracy? Where the hell's Joe McCarthy when you need him?…

Seriously though, I was inspired by Tim Sexton's article (referenced above). The Republicans their brand of "spin" which they've been using for decades now, is enough to make a whirling dervish dizzy to the point of losing his lunch. I don't know if I feel worse for those of us who have suffered as a result of our candidates losing elections to The Right's hypocritical smear campaigns, or for those naïve, self-righteous, idiotic Americans who vote them into office year after year. How elitist, puritanical platitudes can defeat potentially effective ideas so consistently is beyond me.