It's the Life: How I Manage Mommy Guilt

Think of all the working mothers out there. Are they outnumbered by the stay at home moms? I will never forget the sadness and guilt I felt when I was a working mother.

I was a nurse for over 10 years. If you are a nurse or know someone who is a nurse and a mom, then you know of all the holidays, birthdays, all of the firsts and special moments you miss. My husband and I had to celebrate Christmas and any other major holiday you can think of, on different days.

Missing the first steps, first words and even the first day of school was often more than I could handle. Sometimes I wanted to cry, sometimes I wanted to scream.

How I dealt with the guilt was another situation. Instead of dealing with it like I should have.. In other words being at home, I poured myself into my work. Working 14 days straight of double shifts and hardly ever seeing my husband, I realized I couldn't deal with working my life away. Yes the money was great. But, I missed way too much.

With my first two children, I missed more than I can list. My son is almost one now. I was home to see all of his firsts. I didn't miss a single thing with him. I'm glad of that. He will be my last baby and I saw all of it first. Not my husband, not my parents or my dog. ME.

I'm the one that gets to go to all the school programs, all the practices, the playing of the toys. Just the other day when I was cleaning my house, my son went behind me and messed it all back up again. I thought to myself then, "How could I have missed all this with the girls?" Then it dawned on me, I didn't have to. Thinking that I had to work because I went to school for nursing was my way.

I don't have the guilt as much now. Though sometimes it does sneak up on me when my son does something and I wonder, "Did the girls do that too?"