It's a Mad (and Delicious!) World

She had not been expecting a letter. The return address indicated it came from her doctor's office and she shrugged, tossing it onto her "to be paid" pile. It was too beautiful a day to worry about mundane things like bills. In fact as Grace looked over her pile of laundry and dirty dishes, she concluded it was too beautiful a day to worry about anything.

She slipped on her walking shoes and stepped out into the sunshine. Walking briskly, she whistled as she made her way to her local park. Lifting her head to breathe in the fresh clean air, she felt the sunrays dance across her face when a dog barking interrupted her solitude. She opened her eyes and gazed up at the clouds. To her surprise, the normal fluffy clouds shifted to appear as swirls of soft serve vanilla ice cream. She shook her head to shake off the image, but it stayed.

"Weird," She muttered under her breath as she continued down the sidewalk. She glanced over at a house's beautifully white washed fence. As she looked at the wood planks, she saw them transform into tall and straight French fries. She reached out tentatively to touch them. When she brought her hand back, she saw traces of grease and salt left on her fingertips. She looked down the sidewalk to reassure herself that no one was coming and tentatively brought her fingers to her mouth. A quick taste confirmed that the fence did indeed taste like a French fry.

She stopped and pressed her hand against her rapidly beating heart. She was about to turn to return to her house, when the odor of bacon filled the air. In the front yard of the next house, she saw a group of teenage girls lying out in the sun. Their towels appeared to be huge slices of cooked bacon curled over lawn chairs made with strings of licorice. The cooler was filled with cold cans of soda, but itself made from a gaily decorated birthday cake.

She took a deep breath and continued down the sidewalk, passing the girls. "Morning," she said, her voice cracking.

"Morning!" They smiled back at her. She watched in horrified fascination as one of the girls began pouring butterscotch syrup over her arms as though it were suntan oil. The combined smells of butterscotch, cake, bacon, and French fries overwhelmed her. She waved at the sunbathers and walked on towards the park.

"I'll sit down, take a few more deep breaths and it will be okay," she told herself. "I'm not crazy."

Walking into the park, ordinary items continued to transform. Trees turned into huge cinnamon sticks topped with broccoli stalks. Picnic tables became smoky scented beef sticks and benches looked like works of chicken tender art. A dog raced past her, barking joyfully as it jumped to catch a flying peanut brittle Frisbee disk.

She sank to the grass. The soft carpet of grass turned into a lawn filled with cooked green beans. She reached out to pick a buttery yellow dandelion as the dog raced past her again. Fascinated, she poured the melting butter dandelion over the warm steamed green bean grass and ate some. They were delicious.

She smiled, feeling more and more at peace with the changes in the world around her. Salt water taffy beach balls flew past while kids hula hooped with gigantic cheerios. Bushes made of mint gumdrop leaves sported bubblegum flowers. She stood up and walked amongst the smorgasbord, stopping occasionally to sample a jelly doughnut baseball or a crunchy Cheeto marigold. Laughing children, fudgsicle iPods and the crack of a turkey drumstick baseball bat mingled with the barking dogs to surround her with the sounds of summer.

After eating her full, she headed home, admiring the curbs made of bread loaves, the shining lemon sun, and a tree swing made from lollipops and marshmallow ropes. Her stomach was bursting, but the sights, sounds and aromas teased her appetite and she couldn't stop trying a little bit of everything within reach.

Upon entering her home, she discovered that the laundry was now a vegetable salad with a bleach bottle of ranch dressing. Her dirty dishes were made of sweetarts and her pile of unopened bills were slices of cheese.

She picked up the doctor's letter and opened it.

...to inform you of a complication with your smoking cessation hypnotherapy...

She broke off a corner of the cheese letter and began to chew.

....transposed with treatment for diet disorders...ordinary objects appear as food...

The cheesy letter was asiago, one of her favorites.

...triggered by dog bark... worse with multiple dogs...could eat something dangerous.

She reached for the ranch dressing to use as a dip.

...contact us immediately.

The bleach bottle hit the floor.