It's Not Hard to Find that Romantic Spark Again

In the crush of daily life, it's easy to lose that spark with your partner. Sure, you kiss each other goodbye in the morning and say "I love you" sometimes, but you might often ask yourself where the spark went.

When Valentine's Day approaches, you might get nervous. How will you express your love when you don't feel that tingle, those butterflies, that spark, anymore?

We know, we know. You're busy. You're tired. Maybe you're caring for aging parents, or young children. Perhaps you're working overtime or going to school in the evenings. Finding that spark with your partner isn't at the top of your list.

But indulge us for a minute - what good is that extra degree, the extra money, if your love relationship is virtually nonexistent at the end of the day?

They key here is to spend some time reconnecting. In that crush of daily life, it is easy to forget what you love about your partner in the first place. You forget why you fell in love.

Reconnecting is essential. Here are some tips for finding that spark in the midst of all that life brings.

Look it over

First, go through your mementos. Surely you have a love letter one or the other of you wrote. Don't just read the note, smile and put it back in the box. Read the note and think about it - do you remember when you wrote it or received it? How did it make you feel? What was the state of your relationship then? Sometimes just reading the words of your lover when you were truly lovers is enough to bring you back to what's important.

Next, find old pictures of the two of you. Where were they taken? What were your favorite places to go? Why did they make you happy? What did you love about your partner when the pictures were taken?

Think it over

When do you think the spark was lost? Was it when you had your first child? Your second? Perhaps your third? Was it when financial troubles began?

Once you have an idea of when the spark began to idle, notice if there is a pattern. If a little spark was lost when each child was born, why do you think that is? Is it because you lost time with each other? Or because you were just tired all the time?

Now that you have some clues, think about how you can recapture some of the spark. Is a date night a possibility? Would writing little love letters help? How about a little added spice in the bedroom? Whatever you think might help, do it.

Look at your partner in a new way

When you were dating, you weren't wrapped up in paying bills, doing laundry and taking care of children. You were all about each other, spending time together, doing things together, and enjoying each other.

Now, don't be overwhelmed by nostalgia - the idea is not to recapture your youth, but to reconnect in a new way. Time doesn't stand still, so you both have to constantly create new definitions of what attracts you to each other. Be young at heart, but don't go dancing in a bar until two in the morning.

Instead, spend ten minutes just looking at each other in bed and remembering why you fell in love with that person in the first place. Then mentally list some new reasons why you love your partner.

We know it's not easy, but nobody ever said keeping a relationship alive is easy. In fact, when longtime couples talk about their successful relationships, they often talk about how hard it is, and how much work it is. Willing to do the work allows you to recapture the special feelings you had for your partner in the first place.

Have some fun

Take the advice of the experts and have some fun in your relationship. Consider the instant gratification of an EBook that will give you some ideas for bringing life into your stale relationship. The EBook "69 Ways to Your Lover's Heart" is an excellent addition to your reading pile. It's sure to give you many ideas for finding that spark and having fun at the same time.