It's OK for Kids to Make Mistakes

As a parent, we want to stop our children from making mistakes. From that first year, we try to catch them when they begin to walk, and say "let me help you" when they put the wrong color in a pattern. However, it is good for kids to make mistakes. They have to. It is an important part of their education.

Of course we don't want them to get hit by a car or burn themselves. However, many parents have a hard time letting their kids make small mistakes. Some examples:

Your child is dressing himself and his shirt is on backwards. Often, you want to say "Oh no sweetie! Your shirt is backwards, let me help you." Instead, let him put the shirt on and praise him. Then later, after he feels confident about putting on his shirt, point out the tag is in front. Then the next day when he dresses himself just say "remember, the tag goes in back." And praise him again.

If your child is putting a puzzle together and has has a puzzle piece in the wrong spot, we often want to correct it. Don't. When your child is done, he will most likely notice himself and correct it. If not, gently point out something is a miss and let him find it.

There is a toy by Discovery Toys called "It's A Match". It is a self-correcting toy. The child matches the color squares to the answer and they enjoy doing it. I watch many parents who will point to the right answer when their child hesitates. Or if there child puts it on the wrong answer, they will pick up the square and move it to the correct answer. One thing about this toy is part of the fun is correcting your mistakes. When done, you open the bottom tray which matches the colors. The wrong ones are then obvious and your child gets to correct them, fhelping them feel more proud and confidence in the process.

What do children learn from making mistakes?

First, they learn independence. In many cases, like dressing themselves or setting the table, it is teaching them to think for themselves and prepare for being an adult.

Second, it is a learning process. When they make a mistake, the get to fix it. Often, the process that goes into correcting it will help them understand the concept stronger. For example, if you say "What is 2 + 1?" and they answer two, you now get to teach them. You can now show them two apples and one banana, have them count and ask them again. Then show them 2 crackers and 1 piece of cheese so they can watch how the process can be different, but the outcome (3) is the same.

Third, we have to make mistakes to get better. In sports, kids are often afraid to play because of the fear of making a mistake. However, the best way to get better in sports is to make mistakes and learn through trial and error. You will not get better if you are too afraid of what others think.

Fourth, they need to learn to try new things. If they fear making mistakes, they will be afraid to step outside their comfort zone. A child who is a good dancer may be afraid to go out for the team for fear of messing up at try-outs. Even cooking is all about trial and error. If they make a bad batch of brownies and feel making mistakes is a bad thing, they may be done baking forever.

Finally, they are in a learning process. Adults make mistakes all the time (though they won't admit it). If they don't learn what to do when they make a mistake as a child, they will have a hard time in this area as an adult. Everyone needs to learn that though we don't want to make mistakes, the best way to learn is to try. If we make a mistake, it is always a great opportunity to learn from it.

So go have fun with your kids and do not worry so much about their mistakes. They are kids. It's how we react to these mistakes that is more important.