It's OK to Be Single

It's OK to be single. Now, personally, I have a desire for marriage, and if you have read some of my other writings on the subject, you know I think the church leadership should get involved in the matchmaking process. But it is not a sin to be single or remain unmarried. In some cases, such as an unscriptural divorce, you probably should remain single until you can reconcile with your spouse.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. However, if you do date, you should take it seriously, don't date "just for fun", you can have fun all by yourself. Don't date just to have company. Get a dog or cat or chickens if that is all you want. Don't date "just to get out of the house." You can go grocery shopping or to the mall or to the pool or a local park all by yourself.

These excuses to justify dating hurt innocent people. The simple act of dating leads someone (at least it does me) to believe you are interested in a serious romantic relationship and possibly marriage with that person or at least it should. If marriage is not your purpose in dating, don't do it.

The friendship factor throws a little quirk in my idea of dating, but I think finding friends should not be your primary purpose in dating. And certainly don't date expecting someone to make you happy. Let yourself be happy in the joy of the Lord and share the happiness and joy you have found with your dating partners.

You can find your friends doing whatever you do. Don't go to church in order to find friends, but you can certainly find friends in church and should. Same thing with dating, don't date in order to find friends, but don't hesitate to make friends of your dates. And your friends can help you find the right help-mate for you. They can help you by their counsel. Scripture says "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellers they are established." Prov. 15:22

Counseling Christian Singles on "how to" in the matchmaking arena is something most church leaders mistakenly will not do.

"Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety." Prov. 11:14

"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkenth unto counsel is wise." Prov. 12:15

It's OK to be single and enjoy it. As long as it is done in a morally upright way. It is also acceptable to seek a spouse and those singles have the right to expect help from their church family in finding one.