It's Time for a Parenting Attitude Check

Kids are constantly being nagged by their parents, teachers, and other adults to watch their attitudes. Please don't get me wrong. Children and teens should learn the importance of portraying positive outlooks and behaviors. But, if we're honest with ourselves, sometimes the attitude adjustments need to come from us parents.

While eating dinner with my family at a local restaurant last week, we had the pleasure to meet an employee named Tammie who had the most amazing attitude I'd seen in a long time. I mean, this woman loved her job and her enthusiasm was contagious. She could have simply went through the motions with a frown on her face or grumbled about how many times she'd cleaned up after whiny, messy families that day, and no one would have blamed her. Instead, every customer she came into contact with left with smile - including my daughter who had entered the restaurant cranky! The encounter got me thinking about how important attitude is when dealing with people -- regardless of their age. That, of course, made me evaluate what kind of attitudes I portray to my kids and about my role as a parent. It was time for a parenting attitude check!

Recall the attitude of gratitude. I was filled with overwhelming wonder and thankfulness when I held each of my daughters in my arms and met them for the first time. Can you still remember how great that felt? Of course, it's impossible to maintain that kind of giddiness all the time when you're raising kids, unless you live in a utopian bubble. You can, however, do wonders for your attitude when dealing with them by remembering why you're grateful for them. And don't be timid in sharing those reasons with your kids. The reminders will boost their self-esteem and attitudes as well.

Having a ball or simply duty calls? No matter how much we love our children, we all have days when fulfilling parenting needs feels like just another obligation to add to the list of unfinished duties. In fact, the restaurant scenario mentioned above was one of those days for me. Instead of refocusing my daughter's sour disposition by finding a fun way to cheer her up, I was irritated and simply told her to stop being a grump. Admittedly, it was not one of my finest parenting moments. Along came a stranger to make her smile and remind me to lighten up!

The "I'm in the room" attitude vs. the "I am here" one. You know what I'm talking about. It is very possible for family members to coexist in the same house and have no idea what's really going on in each other's lives. How many times do we, as parents, sit in the same room with our kids without really being present and available to them? TV, computers, phones, work, and our own attitudes can keep us from truly being there for our kids if we're not mindful of them.

Be careful what attitude you put out there for your kids to see. It will most likely come back at you! Your attitude plays a huge role in your child's. The old mantra "attitudes are better caught than taught" says it all. Do you find yourself constantly complaining about your child's or teen's bad moods or behaviors? You might want to take a look at yours too. Much like mirrors, kids reflect the images that are closest to them.

More from this contributor:

Six signs that your active child is overstressed

10 discipline tips to foster maturity in your tween

How to handle your child's public meltdowns