It's Time to Separate the Men from the Boys

Listen up boys, it's time for you to grow up and be men. Last night while out with a friend of mine, three guys in their late 20's sit down beside us. After about 20 minutes pass, the guy closest to me motions for me to lean over towards him because he wants to tell me something.

"Hey, see the guy with the beard that's with me? He thinks you're kinda cute," he says.

Strike one and two. No woman do I know in her 20's thinks a beard is hot. Secondly, I'm "kinda cute!?" What, I'm not 100% cute? Only kinda cute? 50% cute? What a slap in the face!

"Thanks," I tell him and go back to talking to my friend. Five minutes pass and he motions to me again.

"He wants to know if he could take you out sometime." Excuse me? Wasn't he reading my signals? The fact that I told his friend "thanks" without looking at him and went back to talking to my friend should have been a clear sign that I wasn't interested. Don't guys get it? Strike three.

"I'm not really interested in dating," I tell him.

"Him," my friend chirps in.

Now, this has me thinking…What real man, oh say, someone out of high school, has their friend do the dirty work of asking a girl out? Are they scared of hearing "no?" What makes "no" less painful when it's delivered through a friend? No is still no. I think "no" delivered to a man in his mid-twenty's through his friend while he's sitting right there is outright embarrassing. Let me tell you: Any guy, no matter how smokin' hot he is, will hear "no" from me until he has the courage to ask me out on his own. Hearing "no" really isn't that big of a deal. I am more turned off by a guy who can't ask me out on his own, than a guy who approaches me.

No long later, a second group of guys come up to my friend and I.

"What do you guys want to drink?" he asks. My friend and I kind of act like we don't really need or want them to buy us drinks because quite frankly, we didn't want them to hang around us all night.

"We just want to buy you drinks. We aren't going to hang around," he tells us. So he buys us a drink, and walks away. Weird, yet nice, but weird. We are cute enough to buy drinks for, but not cute enough to talk to? That's a first.

Next we run into an old friend from high school and learn that he's engaged to get married in a year. We congratulate him and my friend asks where his place is.

"I live with my mom," he replies. Oh? How do you respond to that? A man who is working, engaged to be married, and still lives with his mom? I bet that's a lot of fun for his fiancé! I went out on a date earlier this summer with a guy who was 29. He still lived with his parents. This seems like its becoming a trend in society.

What is it about moving out that is so hard? What's with the mammas boys? Isn't the whole point of going to school and college to get a job to have enough money to move out and be independent? I recently read an article about how in France men live with their parents until they are married, sometimes until they are in their late 30's! Hello! No wonder they aren't married! Who wants to date a 30 year old who still lives with mommy and daddy?

I know several girls that I went to college with that still live with their parents to "save money." I don't understand. One of them said it was because houses are so expensive around where she lives, that she doesn't have enough to buy a house. No one said you had to buy a house! An apartment would do. Another is saving money because when she marries her boyfriend, he will have too much school debt, and she needs to save for him. He's going to be an engineer. Enough said.

I seriously don't understand how men can't move out. First off, the average guy makes more than any woman. If you miss your mom so much when you move out, have Sunday dinner with them every week, I don't care! That's better than living with them and her still doing your laundry and making your bed! I'm 23, single, have an average job, make an average salary. I still have enough money to *gasp! Buy a house, afford to live, have fun, go out, pay my school loans (from a private school, mind you) and still save money. Why is it so hard?

Yeah, I might not drive the nicest car, or have the biggest house, but I'm proud to tell everyone that I'm independent and didn't need mommy or daddy help me out or bum off of them until I'm 30. I know everyone's situation is different, but nothing is impossible. Until I meet a real man, who can ask me out for himself, doesn't still live with his parents, and can approach me in a respectful yet flattering way, I'm happy to remain single, and boys can be just that- boys.