I've Always Embarrassed My Kids!

I'm not your typical soccer mom. I'm not "Mommy Dearest" either. I'm probably more like Elvira or the Harper Valley PTA-mom. Through the years, there have been plenty of chances to embarrass the kids, and they're convinced I embraced every opportunity!

Today, there's only one child left at home. She shakes her head in amazement as my best friend from my wilder days talks about our antics in the past. There was the time we found a dead body in downtown Washington DC, and ran from the police after we reported it. We didn't want blamed, OKAY? Looking back on it, I admit that wasn't the best judgement.

My son turned bright red with embarrassment the time that some fellow tried to hit on me in the Wal-Mart perfume aisle. Never been one to shy from a challenge, I introduced all of my son's friends as my kids and asked if the guy would like me to drop the kids off at home before we went out or if I should bring them along. I don't think the kiddo saw the humor in it, but his friends, all six of them, were rolling in the aisle.

One Halloween, the kids wanted to go trick or treating on the military base we lived on. As we walked through the neighborhood, I spotted two very large teens in their dad's fatigues. They looked very authentic. So authentic, in fact, that it upset me. How dare they go out imitating the base police! I was well into the lecture when my son stopped going "uh......uh.......uh" and began actively tugging on the hem of my jacket. "MOM! They're really SPs! They're on foot patrol!" I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, me or the son.

Through the years, there must have been a thousand similar incidents. As my oldest son and daughter grew up, they both used to say the same thing to people: "You have to meet my mom, she is NOT like anyone else's mom!" My son meant it as a complement, but I think my daughter meant it quite differently!

My youngest daughter has no idea how lucky she is that people run out of steam as they get older. Her life just isn't as embarrassing as that of her older siblings!