Ivory Original Bar Soap

So many soaps have washed over me, covering me with floral and confectionery scents. Aloe and lavender call out to me with scented words that only my nostrils can hear. I shun them both! For my epidermal heart belongs to Ivory Original Bar Soap.

It has a mild fragrance that a manly man can stand, and a lather that satisfies my epidermal desires. 99.44% pure--a soap connoisseur's dream.

Sold in packages of three, four, twelve and twenty-four at any local or chain grocery store. Such epidermal bliss, such ecstatic joy, I love rubbing my Ivory toy.

Oh Ivory soap! I tear off your "Ivory" labeled paper coat, and hold your naked 99.44% pure goodness to my bosom!

Lathering demands water and washcloth or hands. You slip from my fingers as slippery soaps do. I fear you will sink in bathwater but you do something new-you float! Oh how easy it is to recover my ivory soap!

A curvaceous bar caressing my manly curves, lathering my skin, soothing my sores, removing oil and dirt and unclogging my pores.

White as an angel is every bar. Some weigh 4.5 ounces, some weigh 3.1. A bar lasts several days before it is done.

Lathering is easy. It is the rinse that is hard. For down the drain my Ivory lather must go leaving my skin feeling clean and all aglow.

Through times of peace and war and smiles and tears, Ivory soap has been around for many years. I buy the packages of three bars, sometimes four. I pay around $1.80, sometimes a little more.

Often when I wear the Ivory bars down, I leave them on the bathtub edge lying around. They collect grease and hair that gather in the tub. When the pile gets too gross, I clean and scrub.

Oh Ivory soap! Who would have imagined that your 99.44% pure lily-white goodness would become a corrupt, greasy, soap scum pile?

I must cleanse your hairy scum pile and replace you with one of your fresh clean clones. And when that is done, my Ivory soap and I can again become one-and begin the cycle of lather and rinse anew.

My epidermis cries out for you!

I'll never stink cause I ain't no dope as long as I shower with Ivory Soap.

Product Information

Manufactured and distributed
by Proctor & Gamble Inc.
Cincinnati, OH 45202

Toll-free number: 1-800-395-9960
www.ivory.com

Ingredients

Sodium tallowate, sodium cocoate or sodium palm kernalate, water, sodium chloride, sodium silicate, magnesium sulfate, and fragrance