Jaahda is in "Sorry Camp" Until Further Notice

One of my younger (consanguineal) sisters, Diane died suddenly during the week. She was in Rawalpindi, Pakistan at the time.
Mourning is a very complex process and, it seems that hundreds of people have been devastated by her untimely death.
My sister had had a number of health issues for some years now and in the last two years seemed to have known she was going to die fairly soon. Despite that she was carving out for herself a very meaningful life in the land of her latest husband in Pakistan.
She was also carving out a very meaningful life in the public forums on Facebook where there is a Memorial Group set up by a couple of her Facebook friends where people can express their condolences (here). My sister was in at least 500 FB groups, she set up and administered several by herself and, in one of her profiles she had 1700 friends and I would estimate that she, at some time or other touched each of them on some very deep level.
My sister had, for some years now been a Muslim. She opened a business in Rawalpindi called 'Dina Spoken English Academy' (Westridge Rawalpindi Pakistan) with her partner, Tanveer Asghar where she taught spoken English to students and she also had plans to open a charitable NGO to help both elderly people and the homeless.
Every time I saw her in the last couple of years she asked me to 'finish her book'. I imagined that perhaps she had a ten page or so document on her hard drive somewhere. Until we gain her personal possessions from war torn Pakistan I do not know what she has so far written. But - trawling through some of her Facebook profiles and groups, etc I can see I have an extremely complex task ahead of me. She was nothing if not remarkably complex.

The main point I wanted to touch upon today is the cross cultural nature of her death. She died being a Muslim, in an Islamic country. Protocol dictated that her body be buried before sundown of the same day. Interestingly enough during her very last day alive on this Earth she was comforting a very dear friend whose father had just died, and this she did openly in Facebook. She had 'posted' to him a large text which was about the Islamic protocols of death, along with several quotations from the Quran dealing with death. This helped me to understand her wishes as she had always said she didn't want to be 'brought back to Australia'.

I, just as my sister Dina did, live/d in two cultures concurrently. Our 'whitefellah' Australian culture (which Dina and I shared) expects that the bodies of people who die in foreign location are returned here; to be dealt with according to Australian customs. Mainstream Australians generally bury their dead within a few days after death and the longest it is expected to take is a week.
Personally I like the Aboriginal way the best. There is 'sorry camp' which happens for anything up to three weeks before the funeral. As you can see this is quite opposite to the Islamic belief.
'Sorry Camp' is often based at the home of one of the closest family members. During 'sorry camp' there can be scores and scores of visitors who come to share the mourning. Everything that is not 'sorry business' (such as work and other business concerns) related to day to day survival goes onto the 'backburner' to be dealt with after 'sorry time'. I will not here go into much depth about 'sorry business' but the main point I want to make is that no-one is expected to write up or make any other kind of definitive statements about the deceased person.
'Sorry Camp' is a place to mourn and share memories and amongst the tears there is also often a great deal of laughter too. Sorry Camp gives people enough time to be emotionally more prepared for the funeral; it also provides time for extended family members, associates and friends to make travel arrangements to travel there.

Another point I wanted to touch on today is regarding the 'viewing' of the dead.
It seems to me that many people in 'mainstream whitefellah' culture are too confronted by the sight of a dead loved one. My sister Dina was 'washed' according the protocols of Dina's Islamic culture and as I understand things the sight of a dead and washed body is a very desirable thing in her adopted country. In line with the practices of their culture one of Dina's nephews duly posted onto Facebook the lovely picture of her after she had been 'washed' by her husband's mother in law.
Now this event caused quite a 'ruckus' amongst some of her immediate family and Facebook friends. Until this point in time I did not have her nephew on my list of Facebook friends but I quickly added him and spoke to him. I said to him that if he was acting due to cultural practice then this is what Dina would have truly wanted.
And cultural protocols are something I most generally respect - particularly when they relate to either birth or death.
Due to considerations of distance Dina's 'sorry camp' is fractured into different locations; Pakistan, Cyber-space and as far as our rather large consanguineal family is concerned in a number of locations due to the fact that many of us 'live in the bush' in a number of 'family concentrated' locations. Hence there are at least four 'sorry camps' here in Western Australia; Quairading, Bridgetown, my farm and Perth City.

Mainstream Australian culture gives people the 'option' of viewing the dead body immediately before the funeral service. I have not been to many 'whitefellah' funerals so cannot speak with much definition regarding who chooses to view the body or why. At the numerous Aboriginal funerals I have attended even the youngest of children kiss the body.
So to me it was not a big deal that one of her nephews posted the photo of her washed body onto Facebook and how I interpreted it that is that he thought he was doing the most respectable thing. Indeed I saw it as a mark of respect to her and to her beliefs.

Sister Dina threw all of us left behind into a cross cultural stew on Facebook.
God bless my Sister Dina.
You can leave your comments at the bottom of the page.
PS - This article has been read and endorsed by one of her very close friends and business partner, Tanveer who asked that I publish it to Facebook and in the Facebook places that were most important to her.

Keep posted (until after 'sorry business').