Jack and Jill Party: Planning, Attending, and Enjoying the Couples Shower

Tired of the same old pastel bridal showers and drunken bachelor's parties? As a wedding attendee or best friiend of the bride or groom, consider organizing a couples shower, more commonly known as a "Jack and Jill." For some couples it is more fun, lucrative and tasteful to have a Jack and Jill shower together with family and friends rather than have a separate bridal shower and bachelor party.

Location, Location Location

Depending on the season and the interests of the couple, a Jack and Jill may be held as a luncheon, a laid-back bbq at a family's house or local park, or most traditionally at a local hall rented out for the occasion. The location will determine the number of people that can be accomodated. It is best to invited everyone who is going to the wedding to the shower and vice versa. However, in this day and age when couples may be tightening their belts, a "Jack and Jill" party is a great occasion to invite those who may not have made it onto the finalized invitation list.

Save the Date

A Jack and Jill is usually held anywhere from two months to two weeks before the wedding. There are no rules, and the party may be held anytime after the engagement until right before the wedding day. The shower is not intended to be a suprise for the bride and groom so it is best to consult them on the best day and time.

This Old Thing?

Most Jack and Jill showers are dress casual, unless otherwise noted on the invitation. Like any event, dress comfortably according to the location, time of day and time of year. There's no need for a new dress or a new suit, wear something you already own and accessorize it: a new necklace for you, a new tie for him. And be sure to wear those dancing shoes!

Gifts

The best gifts to give at Jack and Jill showers are gifts that may be used by both the bride and the groom. This usually means practial items for their home, not risque clothing or gag gifts. Money is traditionally the favored gift at a Jack and Jill shower.

Let Them Eat Cake!

Or lasagna, or sandwiches, or pot roast. The menu will be determined by the location and time of the shower, as well as by the budget of the host and or hosteses. For an outdoor affair, finger foods and grilled foods are best. For an indoor party, a combination of catered sandwiches, with a couple of hot dishes, coupled with potluck dishes will be both tasty and economical. It is also customary to serve wine and softdrinks. For liquor and beer, a cash bar is appropriate in a hall or restaurant setting.

To Theme or Not To Theme

A themed shower can be fun for everyone, it gets everyone involved in making the party a success and it is also a great icebreaker. The theme does not have to be related to the wedding theme if there is one. The theme should reflect the interests and or needs of the bride and groom.

Here are some traditional Jack and Jill shower themes:

"Stock the Bar"

All invitees are assigned a particular type of liquor: wine, whiskey, bourbon, liquer, vodka, brandy, tequila...etc. An invitee may also be invited to bring bar accessories such as tumblers, margarita glasses, fancy shot glasses or unique coasters. A variation on this is a "Wine and Cheese" theme where guests bring a bottle of wine and cheese from a specific country.

"Good Advice"

For this theme, the host or hostess should have an index card box or a small photo album available. Each attendee will be sent an index card with their invitation and will be asked to write down their best marriage advice for the marrying couple. A variation on this theme, using the same materials, is a "Teach the Cook" theme. Invitees are asked to write down their favorite recipes.

"Make Room"

Each invitee is assigned a room in the couple's house: the kitchen, bedroom bathroom, living room, dining room, the patio, etc. The gift should be something practical to be used in that room.

"Gift Cards"

Rather than just giving the couple money, which is traditional, attendees may opt to purhcase a gift card that the couple may use at a local supermarket, department store, home improvement store, a bed and linens store, a book store, or any other store that may interest the couple.

"One for the Guys"

The most popular theme for men at a couples shower is a handyman or home improvement theme, What guy wouldn't want more tools? It can be something as simple as a hammer to an electric drill.

It is best to tailor the theme, if you use one at all, to the couple. Perhaps they are both athletic, or like to travel, or attend sporting events, whatever their interests, the theme should appeal to both the bride and the groom.

The most succesful Jack and Jills do not include games, which can sometimes be uncomfortable or even a little boring for the guests. Rather than putting guests or the bride and groom on the spot wtih games, be sure to have a DJ or band that is open to requests and keep the music lively. The shower should be relaxed and fun.