James Blunt's "You're Beautiful"

UK-Disco polled 1,300 DJs to compile a list of the Top 10 First Dance Wedding Songs. There is one listing that riddles me right down to my garter belt: James Blunt's "You're Beautiful."

Uh...Baking powder? One of the top songs? Played at weddings in the last year? WITH NO SENSE OF IRONY?

I just didn't want to believe it, fond readers. I love me a good Brit Pop artist as much as the next bloke, let's be honest. But the people who chose to put that song in their wedding reception playlists - do they have a modicum of a brain? Because, fair sentimental brides, let's review. "Beautiful" may be how you want to feel on your special day. And nothing makes me so hot and bothered as being crooned to by a Brit boy, please understand. But "You're Beautiful" is a song about a guy who is rather high, gawking at a girl on the subway, who is rather taken. It is furthermore about this high guy who knows nothing about this girl besides the fact that she is spoken for, but who swears he'll continue to lust after the image of her, which to him bore the similitude of an angel. Which is, like, totally in keeping with the spirit of a ceremony that commemorates the joining of two hearts in a commitment to practice unconditional love until every last unicorn loses its horn and flies away...

But there you have it. Write a song called "Beautiful" and use the word "angel" in it, and you have the top wedding song of the year. My friend Haddy reports that she once saw an interview with Sting and he commented that over the years many people had told him that "Every Breath You Take" was their wedding song. He said he always replied with, "Good luck, man." Another case in point. Weddings these days entail years of planning of minutia. One would expect a skimming of song lyrics for a dance with your one true love might make the To-Do list.