James Toney Vs. Randy Couture at UFC 118: Who Cares?
Toney Will Be "pwned" in Seconds This Saturday Night
The fact that people are actually spending their money to watch James Toney face Randy Couture in an MMA fight is proof that Dana White is the greatest promoter since Vince McMahon circa 1998.
The main event of this weekend's UFC 118 event is listed as Frankie Edgar versus B.J. Penn for the lightweight championship. The fight that has the sports world talking, however, is James Toney, current IBA Heavyweight boxing champion, versus UFC legend Randy Couture in a "boxer versus mixed martial artist" showdown of overblown proportions. No fight fan with any kind of budget whatsoever would pay to see James Toney box against some guy, and the 47 year old Couture is past his prime. Put the two against each other, though, and its apparently one of the most important MMA events of the year.
The only reason I can think of why anybody would actually pay to see this fight is that they just want to watch James Toney go "lights out" after Couture chokes him out 30 seconds into the fight. Toney is a living, walking cartoon character, a mix between James "The Grim Reaper" Roper and Ric Flair (crazy, out-of-his-mind, "what the hell is he talking about?" Ric Flar). I've got five bucks that says you didn't even know Toney was a champion. Another five says you didn't even know professional boxing was still around.
There are only three ways a Couture vs. Toney fight ends. All are worthy of a chuckle. None are worth a dime of your money.
Scenario 1: Couture decides life is too short, takes Toney down immediately and taps/puts him out in less time than it took for me to write this sentence. For good measure, he farts in Toney's face post-fight.
Scenario 2: Couture comes in 40 pounds overweight (hey, my second The Great White Hype reference in one piece. Wonder if I have another one in me.) and gets caught by a roided-up Toney. Boxing geeks from around the world rejoice in the fact "their guy" beat the UFC guy and proved boxing, not MMA, is the true sport of men.
Scenario 3: Couture screws around with Toney, taking him to the ground and using the boxer's head as a bongo for one round. Bored of this, Dana White goes cage-side and gives the "thumbs down" signal a la a Roman Emperor. Couture then immediately finishes Toney off, and the main event starts (totally ripped this off from Wrestling Observer Live co-host Mike Sempervive. And I ain't sorry.).
Saturday night proves absolutely nothing in the nonsensical "boxing versus MMA" debate. When Couture chokes Toney out, it will only mean that Randy Couture is a better mixed martial artist than James Toney.
You don't say.
If Toney catches Couture and knocks him batty, it means a 42 year old punched a 47 year old, one who likely wasn't taking things seriously (not likely when dealing with Couture), in the face and knocked the guy batty. That's it.
One of my buddies, a much bigger UFC/MMA fan than I, remarked that UFC was too good for a Toney-Couture match-up being put on a PPV. A free TV show, maybe, but not something people actually pay to watch. I agree that the carny-esque match-up of Couture vs. Toney just screams "Strikeforce." Making money is something UFC does very, very well, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, Couture vs. Toney in August 2010 is a money-maker. UFC isn't to blame for that.
You are; for buying the show in order to watch Couture humble Toney. If you're ordering or have ordered UFC 118 to see Edgar/Penn II, God bless. You'll most likely be a happy fight fan. Thinking about ordering the show to see Toney vs. Couture? Just mail me your money instead. Sure, you're still throwing your money away, but at least you won't waste a Saturday night.
Well, about five seconds of it.
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Published by Zac Wassink - Featured Contributor in Sports
A gimmick sports writer with a love for Tottenham Hotspur, New York Red Bulls, US Soccer, Adelaide Crows, Juventus, Middlesbrough, New York Giants, New York Mets, Cleveland Browns, Cleveland Indians, Chicag... View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentOh my God! Zac must have seen the future! He submitted Toney! jokes...
You guys miss the sarcasm in the article. And Lets be honest, besides Mayweather and Pacman, tell me who people pay to watch? The heavy weight division in boxing is a *Gasp* joke. You can try and defend it, and then wonder why UFC 100 was bought in more homes then any boxing pay per view in the last decade. I use to love boxing, but honestly, its popularity is on its last legs. James Toney went to the UFC because he wanted a new challenge, not to settle any argument between the enthusiast of each sport. Get off your high horses. P.S. We split the bet, I figured klitchko held every heavyweight belt. I forgot boxing has 10 per division.
...hahahahahahahahaha.
Not for nothing..but I also find it funny how you can write "Making money is something UFC does very, very well, and for reasons "UNBEKNOWNST TO ME", Couture vs. Toney in August 2010 is a money-maker" and then say we're the ones that "dont get it"
the amount of people not getting this is just...amazing.
When someone try to do something out of the ordinary, the will immediatly get smacked down by the ordinary, average man who has NEVER done anything special in his entire life. Like this report, and so many others who can only repeat the opinion of others. Sheeps. Bahhh !
Holy cow, is this supposed to be professional journalism ? I mean can it be any more biased ? "did you know pro boxing was still around" "None would pay to see Toney". Floyd M is paid 20 mill per fight, thats more than UFC fighters make in their entire career COMBINED. How is that dead ? Shane Mosley vs Margarito broke the record for most people EVER in the Staples Center. Toney is still a huge attraction in boxing, has never been beat down, all his HW losses has been controversial, he is fighting the best every time,and is being avoided by the title holders like David Hayes and Bitscko Sisters.
Bullshit this is.
I think this article is a joke and hope by some grace of god James Toney somehow wins this fight...James Toney is a boxing legend...yea hes past his prime but he has the balls to step into another sport with another legend of his sport who is also past his prime..and yea toney will most likely get beat but what does that prove...I guarantee the same would happen to Couture if he threw on some gloves and boxed toney..Couture would look like a clown swingin and missin while toney did his thing playing D and counterpunching..UFC guys should win in the octagon and boxing guys should win in the ring..Toneys gettin his balls broken for doing something nobody else has attempted yet..i could care less either way, but just on this article i hope toney shocks the world