Jane's Addiction: Are Jane and Sergio Through?

Paul Gerke
It appears that Jane has finally ended her long and tumultuous relationship with Sergio, according to an Associated Press report released Tuesday. The announcement was made at a Jane's Addiction concert, where Jane said "I'm done with Sergio, he treats me like a rag doll." Jane and Sergio's fling had been in the media a lot lately, but their break-up comes as a surprise to many.

According to the report, Jane is trying to avoid a sticky separation which would cause her to lose some of her possessions to Sergio. Late Tuesday night, Jane hid the television, saying "I don't owe him nothing." She told her roommate that if Sergio were to come back to her apartment for the television, she should tell him "to wait right here for me." When Sergio was asked about whether or not he was going back for the TV, a 1992 25'' Samsung with a VHS player, he just shrugged and said he would try again tomorrow.

In a likely unrelated incident, Jane has lost her favorite wig. "I feel naked without it," said Jane to reporters outside of her apartment. You may remember that Jane recently shaved her head, an event that netted her negative press coverage and ultimately forced her into rehab. Her friends and family all wanted her to go and get help for her alcoholism and drug abuse, but Jane was stubborn at first, quipping "That's okay man, [ I ] don't like them anyway."

Jane has given some reporters the impression that she is going away to Spain when she gets some money saved. Jane is going to start tomorrow, according to an article in The Sun Times. This has lead others to think that she may possibly kick her drug habit tomorrow too.

Jane has been particularly frustrated with her life in the last few weeks, and late last night she was sitting on the front step of her apartment crying. Heraldo Rivera was there reporting, and his play-by-play of the incident says it all- "She gets mad... and she starts to cry. She takes a swing! Oh my God, she just took a swing!... But she can't hit, she don't mean no harm." Jane just didn't know what else to do about it.

After announcing her split with Sergio, Jane went to the store at 8:00. She walked up on St. Andrew's, where she waited and got her dinner there. Surprisingly, Jane pulled her dinner from her pocket, and fighting back tears, turned to the paparazzi and said "I ain't never been in love. I don't know what it is, I only know if someone wants me. I want them if they want me, I only know they want me." Jane then began to get angry- she burst into tears and took another swing at the reporters around her.

Will Jane and Sergio stay broken up? Will Jane ever recover from her drug and alcohol addictions? There are far too many questions and not enough answers.

Source: "Jane Says", by Jane's Addiction

Published by Paul Gerke

I am a senior broadcasting major. I have been constructing satirical pieces and writing song parodies since I was young. I owned and operated Arabianmonkey.com, which garnered over 1,000,000 page views befor...  View profile

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