JEALOUS and JEALOUSY

Jealous and jealousy, these two words seem to get most of the attention when it comes to personal human emotions. "What are you so jealous about?" has probably been said so much, its impact diminishes with the repetitiveness. When you have no idea where your mate is and he/she comes home past midnight, your likely response is to ask a series of frantic questions: Who were you with? What have you been doing? Where have you been? When were you planning to come home? Why didn't you call me? These are the 5W, "who, what, where, when, why" questions. They suggest you may be jealous.

You don't have to invoke jealousy; it rises up all by itself. If it doesn't, if you really don't feel any concern at all, after going through an evening's worth of wondering, worrying and panicking, then you might consider yourself having a problem. Your problem of not feeling anything after a night like that may be more serious then feeling a rage of jealousy. Jealousy is your one strongest, instinctive, emotional pain receptor. It can save you years of misery. Be careful though, jealousy can also destroy the strongest of unions.

You need to protect yourself by allowing jealousy to rise up but you need to protect your relationship by controlling how you respond to those pangs of jealousy. Situations that might seem as though they require jealousy need to be analyzed and thought out before responding to them. You could consider calling a psychic to help you through the sorting out stage. A psychic can help you see things on a different level; help you clear the fog before you make any rash decisions. Some other things you could do may include;

1) Directly phrase the 5W questions to your mate and demand responses. Make your demand as pleasantly as possible but make it clear this is something you must know. Open up and express your own insecurities. Describe what you envision your mate doing and ask him or her to refute it. Ask your 5w questions and make them understand how important it is for you to get answers to them, answers you can believe.

2) Ask the 5W questions before your mate goes wherever they are going. If you want to ask them without them even knowing what you are doing, do so under the guise that you want to be able to contact them if you need to. This is information you should have if you really do need to reach them in an emergency.

3) Ask your partner to take you with them the next time they go someplace they may be held over or may be delayed longer than expected. Let them know you are interested and want to share their experiences. You want to spend your free time with them.

4) If feelings of doubt and jealousy persist, call a psychic and discuss your situation. Explain the circumstances, but do not exaggerate; tell it like it is. Ask the psychic if this is a condition that really does call for suspicion and jealousy.

5) Keep yourself as active as possible during the time your mate is gone. Do things that require your absolute attention. Don't let your imagination run wild. Concentrate on what you are doing and envision only the best.

6) Call your mate on his or her cell phone and have them call you. Maintain communication throughout the absence. Telephone one another at least once every 30 minutes. Constantly remind him or her of your love for them.

People in general believe we should feel bad about ourselves if we feel the pangs of jealousy. It tends to be looked at in a negative sense and it seems to receive a bad reputation based primarily on inexperienced, biased, personal opinions. These may be educated opinions but there is much to say for real life experience versus textbook education.

If you haven't lived it, if you have never been in the situation we are talking about here, then you have not had to deal with "Jealousy." You really don't know what you have your hands on here. I just don't think the great amount of negativity surrounding jealousy is deserved at all.

JEALOUS:

"...intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness." (Also, suspecting or hostile toward)

"...vigilant in guarding a possession."

Dictionary

INTOLERANT OF RIVALRY: If you are being called jealous you are being told you have no tolerance for rivals or for those who would vie for your mate's affections. You are being told, by being called jealous, that you don't want your mate to have any partner other than yourself. The definition indicates that you won't tolerate it, in fact you may even become "hostile toward" a rival.

INTOLERANT OF UNFAITHFULNESS: The second half of that first definition of jealous is the one I really like. It says a jealous person is intolerant of unfaithfulness on the part of his mate. Not only will you not tolerate someone chasing after your mate or your mate chasing after someone else, but you will also certainly not stand for your mate yielding to the chaser and allowing that pursuit to be successful.

GUARDING A POSSESSION: Vigilant means to be "alertly watchful so as to avoid danger." Be on your guard! Sleep with one eye open. Have eyes in the back of your head. Always be on the lookout! Try not to miss anything. You are still fulfilling the promises in your vows, one of which is to protect. This is not so much an obligation or a promise as it is a privilege. Be "alertly watchful" over your investment.

Jealousy may be a valuable emotion in times of need. Your responses to jealousy are the key ingredient however. Understand your situation before reacting. Familiarize yourself with all facets of the circumstance prior to responding. Consult a psychic for guidance and direction. Collect your facts and protect yourself from any expected fall out.