Jealous of Other, More Successful AC Contributors?

There's no need to be jealous of the AC contributors who have millions of page views...right? Our success at AC can't be measured in page views alone. Whether we have two page views or two million, we're all winners. We're all humans, I mean.

What does my AC clout level say about me-the real me? Nothing at all! I don't even know how I got to be an "8," because 8 out of 10 is pretty good, but a thirteen-dollar performance payment isn't "pretty good." A thirteen-dollar performance payment is pretty sucky. And that brings me back to my original point: sucky jealousy. I'm jealous of all the AC contributors who aren't lazy like me-the ones who earn fifty-dollar (or higher!) performance payments every month. There are so many of them!

Instead of trying to be more like these successful, prolific AC contributors, I'd rather sit back and observe them. And laugh when I find typos in their work. "Three million page views, and he can't be bothered to proofread," I sneer. Sometimes I read their articles and don't leave comments, just so they don't know I've been stalking-observing-them.

What do the amazing, million-page-view-earning AC contributors have that I don't have? Well, they publish a heck of a lot more articles than I do. And, man, they really know how to use keywords and write about popular topics and keep their articles short and sweet. (I've already passed the 300-word mark, and this article isn't going anywhere--or is it?) One other thing: the most successful AC contributors spend more time writing articles than leaving comments. (Hey, I think all of my comments on AC should start earning page views!)

Here's a short list of AC superstars who earn more page views in a month than I earn in a whole year (and they're good writers who deserve it! No sneering allowed!): Jan Corn, Carol Bengle Gilbert, Timothy Sexton, Michelle Devon, Kristie Leong M.D., Crystal Ray, Sabah Karimi, Lyn Lomasi, Saul Relative, Linda Ann Nickerson...Go ahead and check out their profiles and read a couple of their articles. Maybe you'll learn something about how to write better AC articles. Maybe you'll say, "Hey, they obviously work really hard for all their page views! I'm inspired by their example!" Or maybe you'll feel like a big loser because you have only 1% (or less!) of the page views they have, and you'll turn off your computer to go get some ice cream.

Aw, come on. This writing business is supposed to be fun. We're not here to compete. We're here to support each other and grow. Why's it always have to be about the money? About the measly thirteen dollars that won't even buy supper for me, my husband, and my two kids at McDonald's! C'mon, AC! Don't I get some extra page views for being a "nice person"? Bonus PV's for flawless spelling and grammar?

Do you hear that? I think AC Darnell is laughing at me.

You know what I like to do when I'm feeling jealous and craving ice cream? Write a silly article about it. And then I try to predict how many page views my article will earn once it's published. What do you think? 400? Is that too high?

Clout 9, here I come (in three or four years, if I'm lucky)!

Sources? Excuses?

Maria Roth is running a low-grade fever. She'll write a better article next time.