Jealousy: The Good the Bad and the Healthy

When it comes to emotions, jealousy is the most distressing for any couple in a relationship. Not only does it send a message of mistrust, but it creates unnecessary tension. Feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety all contribute to the nature of jealousy; however, it is a perfectly normal reaction.

How people decide to handle jealousy depends entirely on the relationship and the individual. If one or the other has been cheated on before, those negative thoughts (typically referred to as "baggage") can be brought into the new partnership. In that scenario, once trust has been established between couples, the underlying tone is normally layered with a jealous notion. Depending on the severity of past experiences with other partners, it can mean the difference between a healthy and a doomed relationship.

Although jealousy is fairly common, there are different types that can range from mild to severe. These levels define the amount of trust and communication between couples. The relationship only begins to suffer once the boundaries have been crossed and jealousy progresses. Here are a few examples:

Cute Jealousy (Dismissive)

This level is the most harmless and often looked upon as being "adorable" For instance, it is normal to have reservations about a partner going out to the strip club with friends. Even though one may disagree with the fact that their partner is drooling over half naked bodies dancing around, it never amounts to anything more than just that.

Healthy Jealousy (Inquisitive)

Now the questions begin to flow. Being aware of a partner's sexuality and the attention he/she receives is usually met with occasional suspicion. Questioning why a partner is hanging out with singles all the time is usually an innocent attempt to keep them out of harm's way. Trust is still solid but there is an uncomfortable feeling of a partner being out at night with friends who are not in committed relationships of their own.

Possessive Jealousy (Resentful)

A person at this level of jealousy can be dangerous. Something as simple as a glance from the neighbor can set off a rage. These types of relationships often lead to violence and abuse. The need to intimidate and instill fear into a partner is stemmed from a high level of insecurity and low self esteem of the other. In this case, a partner becomes the victim and begins to lose a sense of self identity. Finding a way to get out of the relationship without further harm is the only possible outcome.

Every relationship is subject to some form of jealousy. Given that both partners are emotionally stable; it should never be an issue.