Jean Leidloff's "A Practical Continuum"

When I discovered that I was pregnant, I began actively seeking out other mothers for friendship and support. It seemed like a necessity at the time; to be in the company of other women who had already been where I was going. Much to my dismay and despite my eagerness to make new friends, the entire process left me feeling isolated and depressed. I encountered one mother after another, all of whom shared an intense feeling that becoming a parent meant sacrificing all or most of the things they had enjoyed in their former, pre-baby lives. As excited as I was to have a baby, I couldn't imagine altering my entire life just because I was a mother. The new friendships I formed left me with nothing more than a fresh understanding of my child-free-by-choice friends.

Unwilling to resign ourselves to certain utter boredom, my partner and I decided that babies were designed to be portable. In the weeks following our daughter's birth, we were both surprised at how easy it was to continue our normal activities while caring for an infant. Breastfeeding allowed us to go wherever we chose without a moment's notice, and we found that our baby enjoyed the stimulation of being out and about as much as we did. Easily afflicted by cabin fever, I found the thought of staying in stifling. It was a relief that she agreed!

By the time she was six months old, my daughter had been to more movies than the average American saw in the past three years. By nine months, she had cheered in the stands at several extreme sporting events, was a frequent customer in many restaurants and had traveled by plane, train and automobile. Now that she is rapidly approaching two years old, her list of unusual activities has grown to include a protest rally and three funerals. To put it simply, she goes where we go.

Finding Our Tribe
One lazy afternoon, while simultaneously surfing the internet and nursing my then four month old, I found a web page promoting Jean Liedloff's book, The Continuum Concept. Though I had already become wary of "expert" theories on parenting, I remembered one of my more progressive friends mentioning Liedloff's research. I decided to read a few of her articles to satisfy my curiosity.

I immediately noticed one article in which the author herself showed clear disdain for "experts." Instead, she insisted what I already believed; that humans are innately prepared to rear their children by following their instincts. I read on.

Imagine my surprise when, several clicks later, I discovered that one of the most basic practices involved in the continuum concept is making the baby a part of ones daily life without focusing an excessive amount of attention on him or her. Apparently, my partner and I were in the good company of the South American Yequana tribe, a people whose parenting practices are highly recommended in Liedloff's writing. Not only do Yequana babies learn by passively participating in their environment, but the activities conducted by their caregivers help them to release excess energy without the distressing stiffening and flailing behaviors so often exhibited by Western infants. The more action, the better!

My own experiences confirmed the observations Liedloff made during her stay in South America. My partner and I frequently marveled at our daughter's adaptability, a trait shared by Yequana children who spend the early part of their lives observing adults as they go on about their daily business. Though well-meaning friends had advised us not to over-stimulate her, we found that she thrived on constant activity and drifted off to sleep when she had had enough. She developed a visible understanding of social situations at an early age, and has to this day never given us a moment's trouble in a restaurant or theater. She experiments by pushing the limits of our customs at times, but that's all part of her learning. Choosing to continue our active lifestyle, while parenting, has been the best thing possible for her.

And for us!

If traditional Western parenting requires new mothers to stay at home, delay their hobbies and suppress their former interests in order to fulfill their infants' needs, it isn't any wonder so many of them end up battling postpartum depression. In fact, research has linked a new mother's struggle to reconcile her new, maternal identity with her former self as a factor that can trigger PPD. Compound that with the isolation many new parents report feeling, and you have the perfect recipe for depression. Does Jean Liedloff have the cure?

Only Human

At first glance, her theory sounds far too simplistic. After all, the Yequana culture and lifestyle are vastly different from ours, and Liedloff's book is old news by Western standards. Still, we are all members of the human race and it would be unfair to discount the Yequana way based solely on our differences. We have more in common than one would think.

According to Jean Liedloff, we humans are hardwired with the same instincts that other animals use to guide them in raising offspring and assuring the continuation of the species. By allowing ourselves to tune out modern "experts" and trust in our natural instincts, we do indeed have the ability to raise children as delightful and contented as the Yequanas. And we can do so without sacrificing our own peace of mind!

Though my partner and I do not practice every guideline set out in The Continuum Concept, our instinctual reactions do coincide with a good portion of the theory. Many aspects come naturally and are surprisingly practical, even for desensitized Westerners like ourselves.

By keeping my daughter in constant contact and allowing her to observe my activities without ceasing to continue my own life, I have managed to avoid feeling that I sacrificed a part of myself when I brought a child into the world. Sure, sleeping through the night and visiting the bathroom alone have gone by the wayside, but that doesn't affect who I am at the core of myself. I still define myself as a writer, an activist, and an individual - as well as a mother. Retaining my own identity has proven to be beneficial for the entire family. I have a happy, social child, and she has a strong female role model. Self-sacrifice is a desirable quality in a martyr, but I am a mother.