Jerry Bruckheimer is to Entertainment as McDonalds is to Food

When it comes to film and TV, no one is less creative and more successful than Jerry Bruckheimer. It never ceases to amaze me how trite and predictable movies and television have become, and yet ever so often behind the tired cliche's and the outlandish, gratuitous explosions and special effects is the name "Bruckheimer."

Bruckheimer is the McDonald's of entertainment. His productions are pre-packaged, re-heated, mass produced, and yet consumed by millions. There is as much creativity in a Bruckheimer movie as there is nutrition in a Big-Mac. There are more trite and overused elements in five minutes of dialogue than grams of fat in a large fry. Make that a super-sized fry.

Sometime in 2007 we can expect "National Treasure 2" and isn't that what we've all been waiting for. Let's take a look at the Bruckheimer resume:

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (2007)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
(How many times can you beat a dead horse?)

Déjà Vu (2006)
(People think this was creative? Pa-leezz)

Glory Road (2006)
(trite and cliche' I'll stick with "Rudy" thank you very much)

National Treasure (2004)
(gag me)

King Arthur (2004)
(and for the always predicable end: "The film ends with Arthur and Guinevere's marriage. Merlin then proclaims him to be their king. King Arthur and his remaining knights promise to lead the Britons, now united after Roman leave, against future invaders." - wikipedia.com HOORAY!)

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
(Someone please explain why this was a good movie? My eyes rolled more than watching Barney)

Bad Boys 2 (2003)
(never saw it, but I trust this guy: "Critic Peter Travers claimed that the film was "...the cinematic equivalent of toxic waste."")

Kangaroo Jack (2003)
(and the ending: "A year later, Charlie and Jessie are married, and Louis is seen with them who hasn't changed, and they are also rich. As for Sal, (bad guy) he is facing prison despite all his high-level connections. The movie ends with Kangaroo Jack with the jacket because he wants it to end with him." - wikipedia.com HOORAY!)

Pearl Harbor (2001)
(A true story hardly requires creative genius, and yet still, anyone with an IQ above room temperature would be embarrassed by this movie)

Black Hawk Down (2001)
(I will admit this is the only movie that I even somewhat liked. Based on a true story of course, so you can hardly give him much credit... except that he didn't ruin it too much)

Remember the Titans (2000)
(another eye roller)

Coyote Ugly (2000)
(Once again, playing on the ridiculous and quixotic dreams of little 14 year old girls and doing it in such a way as to include as many cliche and fantastically unrealistic elements as possible. How clever.)

Need I say more? Here's just a few other "gems":

Armageddon (1998)
Enemy of the State (1998)
Con Air (1997)
The Rock (1996) (not bad, but typical)
Dangerous Minds (1995)
Crimson Tide (1995)
Bad Boys (1995)

It is certainly clear that every single production employs the exact same framework. Every plot is the same, every ending is the same. The special effects trump story telling every time. The comedies aren't funny, the thrills are not thrilling, and the adventures are hardly adventurous. It's like a gated community of houses that look exactly alike. Oh sure, they're expensive and have all the bells and whistles, but it has no character and gets boring after about five minutes.

Bruckheimer certainly is the master of "fast-food" entertainment. But what does this do to people? Is the consumption of "fast-food" entertainment mentally harmless? Or is there a chance that completely unintelligent, hackneyed, and delusive entertainment might be clogging the arteries of our brain?

I submit to you that indeed it does. A self-indulgent, instant gratification, mentally lazy and indolent populace is consuming mind-numbing entertainment at an alarming rate. The two seem inextricable to me and therefore at least for now, I hold to my analogy: Jerry Bruckheimer is to Entertainment as McDonald's is to food.