Jessica Simpson's Top 10 New Year's Resolutions for 2008
10. Take singing lessons. I'm tired of sounding like a squeaky animal. Even Alvin and The Chipmunks refuse to let me tour with them until I take lessons.
9. Take acting lessons. Pretty self-explanatory!!!
8. Take life lessons. Unless Daddy and Mommy tell me what to do, I don't know how to function.
7. Go back to high school, study and get a diploma. I left high school to work on my...I mean Daddy's music career. I've got a GED but have no idea what that means. Wasn't sure how to spell it either.
6. Learn the lyrics to the Dolly Parton song, 9 To 5. I'm not good with numbers.
5. Try to figure out that whole "Chicken of the Sea" thing. Yeah, I still don't get it.
4. Don't date, marry, talk to or look at any man who has a bright future ahead of him. I must stop career-cursing the likes of Nick Lachey, John Mayer, Zach Braff and Tony Romo.
3. Learn the rules of NFL football. If Daddy makes me keep seeing this Tony Romo guy then I need to know what those men down on that big field are doing. (Tony? Is that his name? I'm not sure; I'll have to check with Daddy. He set up this whole thing!)
2. Break away from Daddy-Joe-Big-Bucks. Stop Daddy from choosing my men, my clothing, my career, my words and my plastic surgeon.
And my number 1 resolution for the New Year is . . .
Push more pimple preventer, perfume, pumps, purses and pizza. Daddy needs more money!!!
Published by K. Jai Estes
Freelance writer and poet. View profile
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5 Comments
Post a CommentToo funny! All of these resolutions are right on target. Great job!!
LOL - OMG I forgot to mention Daddy LOL - this was good :)
Funny....p.s I didn't even notice the typo until you said something. That reminds me of the infamus(I think I spelled that wrong) pimple that no one notices but you and you think everyone sees it......nice work!!
This a great article with some good tips. jessica Simpson does do alot as far as her acting, perfumes, and zits (I mean Proactive commercials.) This is a good article telling us about her and her life!
Typo Alert: First line should read, "If you wander" NOT "wonder."
My apologies.