Jim Carrey Clarifies His Tweets About Elin Nordegren

It seems Jim Carrey took my advice yesterday and put down the bottle of Courvoisier and the bag of Doritos. Since his apparent drunk-tweet on Friday that Elin Nordegren was complicit in the infidelity of her husband, Jim has sobered up and hopefully showered.

Now Jim wants to make it "clear" that he "does not condone infidelity." What he really meant to say, according to his latest tweet, is that "2 some degree, the responsibility 4 it (the infidelity) is shared by both people."

Okay, buddy. But, here's the deal: I never thought you were saying you condoned infidelity. What I and many others thought you were saying is exactly what you did say and now, what your "clarification" is saying as well.

Which is, Elin Nordegren is somehow at fault, even if it is a 'shared responsibility' as you put it, in her husband's infidelity. So, really, Jim, no clarification needed. What is needed though is that you have your head examined.

The only shared responsibility that Elin Nordegren had in the infidelity of her husband, in my opinion, is that she showed up on her wedding day with the expectation that Tiger Woods would mean it when he said "forsaking all others."

How was she supposed to know he had his toes crossed? Should she have made him pinky swear instead? Cross his heart and hope to die? Outside of that, what? Install a tracking device on his penis?

Wait. I know. She should have gotten a few tattoos, changed her name to Cherry4U and starred in a porn video or two. You know, keep it spicy in the bedroom. Then, instead of making Tiger walk next door to have sex with the neighbor, she should have just invited her over for a ménage- a- trois. I mean, now, since we all know Tiger had a kink in his tail for threesomes, surely she should have known that too, right?

And certainly, instead of choosing to stay at home with their two children to nurture them, care for them and mother them herself, she should have hired a gaggle of nannies instead. That way, they could have bonded with complete strangers while she kept up with her husband to make sure he didn't feel unappreciated, neglected or forced to restrain his sexual impulses in anyway.

Is that it? Is that what you meant? Because if it is? Well, yeah, you're right. This thing about trust, honoring your commitments and remaining sexually faithful to your spouse during marriage is just passé anyway. She should have known that, I'm sure. And you know, I bet Sandra Bullock is somewhere today thinking the same thing herself.

Sources: Jam.Canoe.ca
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