Job Interviews: How They Should Go

Just about every adult has been through an employment interview, so many will probably agree with me that there are some common questions you can't give an honest answer to. Oh, but what a wonderful world it would be if we could say whatever we wanted to a potential employer...

So what attracted you to this company?
Well, I don't know much about your company, but any company that offers me a paycheck is ok in my book. I'll apply to work for any company with a job opening.

What made you interested in this position?
I don't really have any idea. The IT position is barely related to my education and work experience, seeing as I have a journalism degree and have only worked in retail. I guess I just like the fact I'd get to sit at a desk for a change.

Tell me about yourself.
Well, I got my degree a while ago. I can't stand my current job; in fact, I haven't really liked any job I've had. I move from one job to the next, hoping the grass will be greener on the other side. And I don't like working more than the bare minimum to keep from being fired.

What made you leave your job at X Company?
The job was a living hell and my boss wouldn't pay me what I know I'm worth. Also, my boss's boss was a heinous hag who made life miserable for everyone and I couldn't stand the sight of her.

What was your favorite job and why?
The last job I had was definitely my favorite. Because I left! Geez, I wish that place would burn....

How do you feel your work experience and degree fit with the position?
Um... As I said before, I have only worked in retail and I have a journalism degree. Your job posting said you were looking for someone with 4+ years IT experience to supervise the help desk. I seem to be no match at all, so you tell me. Really, I just want a job here.

What are your salary expectations?
I want to start at $35,000, which would be really awesome for someone just a year out of college. Also, I want a $5,000 annual raise, regardless of my performance reviews. Essentially, I want you to pay through the nose for me to sit on my ass and play Tetris.